James McSaddle is The Lazarus Man

James McSaddle Is:
THE LAZARUS MAN
by Dr. James McSaddle


Clearly it isn't Robert Urich, or else he would have come back from the dead to try the new sliders* at Burger King.

However, I am back from an extended hiatus. Let me give you a few reasons why I haven't been posting.

1.) My short stories and essays have been for class and they are of very little interest to my readers.

And myself.


2.) My schooling is fucked, I've moved, and I have had to look for a 'real' job. I've even applied for jobs in politics despite my insistence that I would never again do so. Poverty has a funny way of making you do desperate things.

Some people become thugs and pushers, others become prostitutes, and if I get back into politics, I'll be doing a combination of such deeds, thereof.

3.) I am getting ready to spend five weeks in Europe.

4.) I started a novel. Yup, I did it. I was going strong late April, and then the above shit happened and I haven't even looked at it in a month. But, I am going to go at it again as soon as I am done with this post.

I've been wanting to write about Torture Gate, the Sotamayor appointment, American Democratic Socialism, Conan, and David Carradine, but I just haven't had a moment to be in my own head about anything.

I am again prepared to give you frequent assessments on the banalities produced by my cognition. If that's why you look at this blog, you're in luck, because I'm back.

If you don't like it, you can close this tab and go back to jacking off to bestiality porn.

*"Burger Shots" I guess are what they call them. They aren't great, I prefer a real burger myself, especially as they have sesame seeds on the bun.


Empty Things & Hollow Rings

Empty Things & Hollow Rings

Things you
got goin'
ain't goin'
no place
at all.

Maybe
you ought
to go
and get
going on
getting
over
things you
don't get
and will
never
ever
have your
hands on.

And if
you are
fixing
some tricks
to make
it in
the mix;
get to
thinkin
sick things
to see
if that
which is
hollow
also
rings.

True Revolution

True Revolution


Today Azlan is celebrating
liberation
from hostile occupying forces.
With a clearer head and mended soul
he climbs onto
and hikes over
the rubble
to see how he can clear it out.

Not soon enough
he will build
a new nation from what is left
and what can be made.

Since it takes less time to count blessings
than it takes to count the casualties,
Azlan makes a rare but sincere prayer
that the world would learn to remember
True Revolution comes from within.


Blow On The Dice and Dance In The Blood


If America’s most recent economic disasters were not such a devastating assault on human dignity and people’s quality of life, I might be cheering the whole thing along. A lot of folks got a bad deal because of conniving lenders who made false promises or obscured the truth about the terms of the credit they offered. In other instances, bad corporate leadership has resulted in massive job losses. America is producing less, and the American Markets are valued at the same rate as they were over a decade ago. A number of people who seem otherwise decent are being driven to levels of desperation that I have only read about in history books and heard from my grandparents.

From Ohio to California a number of suicides and murder-suicides have been attributed to economic hardship. During the economic crisis in Asia a decade ago, suicides doubled. Authorities opened more crisis prevention centers and installed special gates in subway terminals to keep people from throwing themselves in front of the trains.

The fears that the past is prologue and that these terrible phenomenon will grow within our own boarders are legitimate; as these recent events are only the most obvious and literal examples of how our economics have made us forget the past and forsake future generations. Perhaps the best they can hope for is that out of this economic crisis that the worst of our destructive worldviews and ways of life will be purged in a mass revaluation of our priorities and sentiment toward our fellow man.

One such antiquated view is Reaganomics. Ronald Reagan brought America a version of Western Capitalism that most resembles a coked up stock broker at an Atlantic City craps table; with a high-priced Ukrainian whore at his side, blowing on his dice for good luck before he rolls them on the table with a heinous cackle. Reagan gave us an economic system that rewards atavistic greed and created a generation of orthodox tax-cutters, deregulators, and supply-side patsies. As a result the American economy has had huge structural annual deficits and a gaping national debt financed by foreign interests that are in direct economic and geopolitical competition with the United States. Taxes were cut for the wealthy and corporate interests with the intention was that these kickbacks would “trickle down” to other folks trying to get ahead. It never did.

The problem with this plan is that even though is was cynical about how people exploit the welfare state; it was thoroughly pollyannish about the motivations of business leaders, commodity barons and corporate oligarchs. This inherent hatred of the poor and unconditional reverence for the very wealthy constitutes a form of class struggle that ironically makes Marx’s Das Kapital look more credible and prolific. Reaganomics would have been confused for a parody developed by capitalism’s harshest critics had it not become devastating economic policy in the heart of the free world.

This perversion of national priorities isn’t just an assemblage of bad policies, it’s much worse. Another byproduct of Reaganomics is that it made a generation of people think that the Gipper’s Anarcho Capitalist system is a meritocracy, and that those who get left behind have less or who ask for help are either lazy scammers or too hopeless and inept to deserve help. So-called blue-collar workers known as Reagan Democrats came to resent people in their own class for not achieving a level upward mobility that they themselves do not possess.

Too many of the optimistic youth of the 1960s, who sought genuine human liberation in the peace movement put their fates and their dispositions into the hands of the Reaganites. Many, but not all off the Reaganites’ children born in the 1980s are now young adults with mangled souls that value little more beyond personal self-satisfaction and shallow consumerism. That generation and the ones ahead would be best served if this country stopped perpetuating the vile fallacies of Reagan’s America

Republican leaders of the modern age (among those that are left) are unwilling to admit that Reaganomics and most assumptions that go along with it have failed and have been proven wrong. That isn’t to say that America needs a movement of orthodox tax hikers, over-regulators, and central planners. These ideas have never truly been part of mainstream economic thought in America anyway, despite the GOPs accusations of socialism toward President Obama.

Reagaomics though, is America’s Communism; it is so rooted in ridged ideology that it could never be applied to any real world problems. Soviet Communism intended to give the power to its people but it instead fell into the hands of tyrants. Reagan apparently intended to empower people as well, but instead he just entrenched oligarchs and other fiends. Not only did Reaganomics pollute our national conscience, but also it failed to deliver any semblance of responsible prosperity.

Among the vast and cruel suffering that threatens to engulf our nation, I take solace in the fact that those who littered the suburbs with McMansion laden subdivisions and that those who bought gas gluttonous military assault vehicles to commute to work are being taken down too. The best part of this economic crisis is to see this empty and shallow way of life suffer and perhaps be purged.

The generation that elected Barack Obama has an opportunity to follow the new President’s lead and offer novel ways of doing business, promoting the general welfare, and changing for the better how we look at one another. My best hope is that the children of the 1980s learn from the failures of the children of the 1960s.

God’s Wrath Spared The Rusty Pellican

God's Wrath Spared The Rusty Pelican


The Gulf Coast of Mississippi is in many ways like a poor-mans Florida panhandle. Before the casinos set up shop in the early 90s, the Biloxi area enjoyed miles and miles of white, sandy coastline near water that on the right day looked to be a mosaic of blue and white glass beads. After the tide rolled ba ck near dusk, I would look for seashells and check them for crabs. Once, I reached my small, wet, and sandy hand into a large conch-like shell and that gray little bug pinched my fingertip. I yelped, but I didn’t cry, it didn’t hurt that much. But I learned that the hazards of the ocean were different than the hazards of the West Michigan lake shore. I took special note of the washed up jellyfish and Man o’ Wars that rolled in with volumes after every major storm. Those things worried me more than the stingrays or the small gray finetooth sharks, because they were the hardest to see. I figured that if I got a shark bite, at least I would have stories to tell. But, I didn't and I don't. Except for the crab, the Gulf Of Mexico's predators never made me their pray.

Across from the place where you could once rent Sea-Doos, there was a souvenir shop and an old shrimping boat that was washed to shore by Hurricane Camille. Up until my last visit about a decade ago, shrimping boats could be seen off in the blue-gray horizon each dawn. To get freshest catch you would have meet shrimpers at the docks at 8 A.M to buy some of the world’s finest shrimp for wholesale. Grubby shrimpers with more knives than teeth would sometimes slice one open in front of you to show you how meaty they are how easy the vein came out.
Because of the availability of fresh ingredients, shrimp gumbo, which was served everywhere. They had it at the Rusty Pelican, a dive restaurant near my grandparents home. The sign out front had a large cartoon pelican, and it said in bold letters: PO-BOYS, GUMBO, CHICKEN, FISH, SEAFOOD. A Po-Boy is a large submarine sandwich with thick bread. The best one at the Rusty Pelican had fried crab cakes and was served with a hushpuppy and about a pound of salty carnival style fries. If you had room, you could also get a slice of Key Lime Pie. With the humidity, white sand, and Key Lime Pie, you would think you were in one Florida’s finer vacation destinations if not for the prevalence of the Confederate Flag and middle age men going into town without shirts and/or shoes.

Once while at a small market in Pass Christian with my grandparents, I remember a black man in a straw fedora coming into the store, and continence of the old fat Cracker at the register changed dramatically, and with his eyes he followed the black man through the store.
While my grandfather was looking over the booze selection, the black man made his way through the store. He picked up a bag of potato chips, and a couple of large bottles of beer. As my grandpa paid for the bottle of Seagrams V.O., a copy of The Times-Picayune, and the 3 Musketeers bar I picked out, we headed out. But before we could get to the door the Cracker told the black man to empty his pockets. By the look of his brown furrowed brow, he was perturbed, but he was used to things and he politely complied. With his chapped hands, he reached into his pocket and laid out on the counter a red Bic lighter, rolling papers, tobacco, his ID, and a small wad of bills. "I ain't got nothin," he said.

He hadn’t stolen anything. The fat Cracker rang him up. When we got into the car where my grandmother was waiting, my grandfather told her about how the Cracker shook the man down. “Nigger shit”, said my grandmother. “It’s always nigger shit”.
I didn’t know what she meant. I still don’t.


Re: Small, Dry Places

Re: Small, Dry Places

Mr McSaddle:

You'll have to go someplace bigger
and less dry
to see how hot you really get.
And if you really put yourself into it
and I mean
REALLY
put yourself into it
you can burn that place down too.

Best Regards Via Seance,

Robert Frost
The Punishing Netherworld

Small, Dry Places

Small, Dry Places

Some things burn too hot to be in small dry places.
The rooms burn down and all that is left
are the dropped and slacked jaws
of
the assimilated, associated, and confused
pacing about the rubble and orange-hot cinders.
coughing clouds of soot and smoke
as they openly wonder how they will build it again
exactly as it was before.



Employee Discount

Employee Discount

After Barbra finished her G.E.D, she was able to make enough money as a waitress at the Hominy Diner to get a place of her own in Purcell with her new baby. She went there because she wanted to be "close" (about an hour) to "the city" (Oklahoma City). She landed a job at the new Wal•Mart Super-Center where she started in the stock room and moved up to a cashier position and made an honest if not affluent living.

She lived in a small apartment above the house of a chain-smoking widow before she ended up getting impregnated, married and re-impregnated by Russ, the Assistant Manager, all within 2 years. She moved into Russ's large modular home on an open lot with a man-made pond. It wasn't a bad life, but before their three year anniversary Russ, who was being investigated for running meth to Langston, blew his brains out with a shotgun that he bought with his employee discount.

Slim In The Leg

Slim In The Leg

Edwardo:
What's with the hole on the back of your jeans?

James:
My other good pair are crusted because of my unfortunate jaunts through heavily salted slush puddles. I really should wash them before the salt starts to eat through them,

Edwardo: When did you decide that the jeans were unwearable?

James: I guess last Sunday. I knew that I couldn't wear the jeans again without washing them. The filth would have been a spectacle.

Edwardo: So why not wash them? You have free laundry at your place, right?

James: Well, you don't want to wash your denim too often. The oils and stuff in your skin makes the denim sort of custom fit you.

Edwardo: Ewww....gross.

James: No, I insist that this is the best way to wear jeans. Wear them at least five days a week and wash them at a maximum of once a month.

Edwardo: Why?!

James: Because, you start with somewhat snug jeans and they transform into a pair of custom fit jeans. The denim takes on your shape and it fits you better than it could ever fit anyone else. And, in fact, no one else should every wear your jeans. You should be able to wear them until the day you die.

Edwardo: Assuming that a persons waistline stays the same through the ages?

James: Maybe it's an incentive to age more gracefully. . .having old denim to serve as a reference through the decades?

Edwardo: Don't jeans change style over time? Like, wont those just look like cheap old shit in 5 to 15 years?

James: Some things change, but the kind of fit that works for you never does.

Edwardo: Given the presumption that you wont change––

James: At least there's some incentive.