The Truth Or Something Like It

What's It Take?

2011-09-06T15:33:00.003-04:00

What's It Take?

It takes grit to make it in America
It takes more than you have to get what you need.
It takes blood to bleed and teeth to gnaw through bone.
It takes courage to pay down what you can't own.
It takes not only charm but love to Make Love.
It takes gumption to see what cannot be shown.
It takes sight beyond sight to fly without flight.
It takes not dying to keep on not living
and
It takes luck to build again once all is blown.

Counting Fingers and Shaving Whiskers.

2011-08-17T17:29:00.005-04:00

Counting Fingers and Shaving Whiskers

I'm counting my fingers and flicking the lights
in a vain and futile effort to control
a hazed morning posing as a lucid dream.
But the spinning lingers while smooth skin grows whiskers;
Fighting a beard that wants to grow
is never won
until you die
or
you lose your balls.

State News Writer Willfully Distorts Truth

2010-02-03T12:55:00.011-05:00

State News Writer Willfully Distorts Truth

Poorly Formed Opinions No Surprise From Declining Publicatio

I guess it's a good thing that Mr. Thieleman is indifferent to torture, because getting through his most recent column was just that. It was so bloated with generic political invective I could have sworn that it was pieced together from crumpled up pieces of paper and cum-rags from the wastebasket in Glenn Beck's office.

For the record, Obama has:

Stopped the Great Recession from becoming and Apocalyptic Depression.

Saved the auto industry, which is now making green cars and turning a profit.

Reversed the federal ban on stem cell research.

Invested in green energy jobs and ordered new government buildings to be zero emission.

Reformed and expanded federal student aide, saving families $9 Billion.

Funded American cities that struggle with gang violence to fight against it..

Ended federal prosecution of Medical Marijuana users.

Preserved two million acres of wilderness that were threatened by loggers, miners and polluters.

Passed a stimulus bill that helped build and restore highways and railroads, which has been especially needed here in Michigan.

Cut taxes for the middle class and small businesses.

Moved health care further along than any President.

Saved Americans from pirates near Somalia.

Called for an end to "Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell", a heinously bigoted policy of discrimination.

Engaged the world in a more thoughtful and effective diplomacy.

Made his administration the most accessible and open in history.

And, he talks to Americans like they are intelligent adults. But even that can fall on deaf ears and numb skulls.

I cannot be sure what Mr. Thieleman and the right-wing ignorentisa have against making sure for-profit insurance is also for-people insurance. The President wants to keep insurance companies from denying coverage because of pre-existing conditions and see to it that access to health care is affordable for all. But, Mr. Thieleman’s ilk doesn’t mind that in the world’s richest country, people have to make the choice between food and medicine or staying alive and going into bankruptcy. That doesn’t happen in France, Germany, Sweden, or the U.K.

Mr. Thieleman would probably say that those countries are socialist. What does he imagine the quality of life is for people in those nations? They aren’t eating gruel or drinking from puddles. The truth is, their citizens experience a quality of life that matches or exceeds that of those in the United States. Drawing examples from what other nations do right isn't unpatriotic, it's something a President does when he loves his country and wants to see it prosper. I for one do not doubt our current Commander-In-Chief in this regard.

“Change” and “Hope” continue. Obama’s approval ratings are a virtual mirror to what Reagan endured politically early in his Presidency. The difference is, this President is charismatic and in addition, possesses a remarkable intellect.

President Obama has tried to work with a radical political minority that has been fueled by an angry and misinformed mob that feels marginalized by having an educated, intelligent, and black President. This group is most represented by people who show up to Presidential events with assault weapons and misspell “Socialism” and “Fascism” on their protest signs.

Despite this, he is the only President to go live on television and take questions from hostile and partisan adversaries in an effort to get something done. Obama will work with people who are willing to work with him, and finally he is calling out people like Mr. Thieleman for engaging in willful distortion and intentional disinformation. I suppose I shouldn’t accuse him of malice; Mr. Thieleman may simply be among those who aren’t educated or intelligent enough to know the difference. In which case, he has my pity.

As for “saving our own," Mr. Theileman doesn't even want the poor in this country to have access to health insurance, nor affordable education, nor a helping hand when they lose their job. The assertion that he wants to take care of people at all is absurd.

We can save the people facing impending doom in Haiti and the people struggling to keep their homes and get ahead in the U.S. Each ambition has a different objective and each mission uses different sets of resources. It's like saying that you can't mow your lawn and also donate to Goodwill.

Recovery at home would go along much faster if Mr. Theilman’s friends in congress didn't insist that The President needs 60 votes to sneeze and that 41 Senate votes justifies the total derailment of legislation directed toward economic recovery and improving people’s quality of life.

Unfortunately, Mr. Thieleman's and his right wing allies operate under the belief that short-term political gains are more important than moving the nation forward.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is a response to an Opinion written by Eric Thieleman in the State News on February 1, 2010.
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Slim In The Leg

2009-12-31T03:33:00.001-05:00

Slim In The Leg

Revised

Blake was walking up the stairs behind James at the Clinton-Washington avenue subway station. “What's with the hole on the back of your jeans?”

“My other good pair are crusted because of my unfortunate jaunts through heavily salted slush puddles. I really should wash them before the salt starts to eat through them. I can’t believe we got all that snow!”

“I can’t believe it’s gone already. When did you decide that the jeans were unwearable?”

James laughed and looked back. “I guess last Sunday. I knew that I couldn't wear the jeans again without washing them. The filth made me a spectacle.”

Blake scoffed as he shifted his messenger bag. “So why not wash them? You have free laundry at your place, right?”

“Well, you don't want to wash your denim too often. The oils and stuff in your skin makes the denim sort of custom fit you.”

Blake scoffed louder. “That’s gross, man.”

James and Blake walked onto the sidewalk toward the park. The snow had already melted. The ground was wet but the sun was warm and the sky was blue. “No, I insist that this is the best way to wear jeans.”

James stopped at the drinking fountain for some water. “Wear them at least three days a week and wash them at a maximum of once a month.”

“Why?!”

“Because, you start with a somewhat snug fit and they transform into a pair of custom fit jeans. The denim takes on your shape and it fits you better than it could ever fit anyone else. And, in fact, no one else should every wear your jeans. You should be able to wear them until the day you die.”

“It seems like if you wore them that much they would wear out a lot faster, though I guess you never know when you’ll die. Still, this assumes that a persons waistline stays the same through the ages,” said Blake.

“Maybe it's an incentive to age more gracefully. Having old denim to serve as a reference point through the decades?” James said as he pulled the Frisbee from his bag.
“Don't jeans change style over time? Like, wont those just look like cheap old shit in 5 to 15 years? Throw it.”

James threw the Frisbee to Blake. “Some things change, but the kind of fit that works for you never does”.

Blake catches the Frisbee. “Given the presumption that you don’t change.“ Blake threw the Frisbee and it hooked right.

James sprinted to catch the Frisbee. “A little incentive never hurt anyone.” He picked it up from the wet ground and threw it back to Blake.

France Gave Us The Statue Of Liberty After WWII and Other Crazy Things Palin Supporters Believe

2009-10-30T15:33:00.004-04:00

France Gave Us The Statue Of Liberty After WWII

And Other Crazy Things Palin Supporters Believe

Note: I encourage everyone to take a look at Sarah Palin's fan page on Facebook™ It's quite a freak show. My posts have been removed and I am banned from making further comments on her wall.

Republicans hate Free Speech, so you should go write something antagonistic and degrading on her wall right now. Make sure you do a screen capture, because they will remove it from the board within a couple minutes. If you send it to James.McSaddle@gmail.com I will post it on TheTruth.

Best of luck!

Palin Supporter: "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, the wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me. I lift my lamp beside the golden door" This is the inscription written on the Statue of Liberty which was given to us by France, after we liberated that country. Think about this for a minute. Where else will the people of the world go if America becomes just like the country they are trying to escape?"

McSaddle: You sound about as smart as Sarah Palin.

The Statue of Liberty was a gift from France to celebrate the 100 year anniversary that the Declaration Of Independence was signed. You know, when THEY helped liberate us from Britain, not when the Allies liberated France in WWII. Maybe do a fact check next time?

The "huddled masses" poem, or "The New Colossus" was added years later to celebrate America's history of immigration. Also, it's not written on the outside of the statue, it's on the inside.

You should know that the Huddled Masses get a better deal in France, where they are secure in their economic well being and everyone has access to world class health care. The food is pretty good too.

None of this matters, because you come off as someone who calls french fries "Freedom Fries", who cheers on the Minute Men, and who purports that looking after the poor and sick is the same as socialism.

How many people in France go bankrupt because they can't pay for their medical needs versus that United States?

Sarah Palin: Clearly not a thinking person's candidate.

Remember: The Republicans Lost In A Landslide

2009-10-26T03:33:00.002-04:00

The Republicans Lost In A Landslide

Because They Created The Mess We're In

And NOW They Want The Guy Cleaning Up Their Mess To Fail.

Republicans Would Rather Be Crazy Than Smart

2009-10-07T03:33:00.006-04:00

Republicans = ♥ (Crazy > Smart)
The Most Abrasive Liberal Rhetoric Is Lukewarm Compared To The Right Wing
by Dr. James McSaddle

Florida Congressman Alan Grayson was criticized for calling out Republicans on their failure to to offer solutions to the serious and far reaching problems that face our current health care system.

The cost of care is going up and the quality of care is going down. We have an inexcusably high infant mortality rate and too many people go bankrupt or die because of the dishonesty of the for-profit insurance industry.

Congresman Grayson's aggressive posture is far less offensive than the outright lie-mongering, distortion, and incitement to fear that have become a part of the Republicans "brand".

It's difficult to listen to G.O.P. leaders call Obama a fascist, especially when the Patriot Act and FISA permitted the federal government to conduct unconstitutional searches, seizures and surveillance against American citizens.

It's especially difficult to hear Republicans compare Obama to Hitler while their own political success hinges upon the effectiveness of their lies and intimidation. The best hope for the Conservative Movement is the prevalence and persistence of the willful ignorance a person needs to believe what they say.

Their constituency consists primarily of those whose psychology is so frail that they believe Barack Obama was born in Kenya and that the poor and sick should be sentenced to death for being poor and sick. Some of them show up with AR-15s and other implements usually reserved for the battlefield or the apocalypse.

Somehow for-profit insurance corporations has gotten a visible number of angry white rubes to yell, stomp, and spit on their behalf in the public square. . .I'll never quite understand it.

I know that the Republicans are keen on death and destruction, but it's intellectually dishonest, even for a them, to subscribe to and embrace this genocidal social Darwinism while doubting the validity of evolution.

They would rather be crazy than smart, they would rather cultivate sociopaths than intellectuals; they would rather the collect campaign contributions from polluters and let humanity die on an uninhabitable planet than work to limit pollution; they would rather spend a trillion dollars on a war of aggression than on creating jobs or improving education.

I don't think it's particularly partisan to think that the G.O.P. platform represents a gross and perverted value system.

James McSaddle is The Lazarus Man

2009-06-08T03:33:00.002-04:00

James McSaddle Is:
THE LAZARUS MAN
by Dr. James McSaddle

Clearly it isn't Robert Urich, or else he would have come back from the dead to try the new sliders* at Burger King.

However, I am back from an extended hiatus. Let me give you a few reasons why I haven't been posting.

1.) My short stories and essays have been for class and they are of very little interest to my readers.

And myself.

2.) My schooling is fucked, I've moved, and I have had to look for a 'real' job. I've even applied for jobs in politics despite my insistence that I would never again do so. Poverty has a funny way of making you do desperate things.

Some people become thugs and pushers, others become prostitutes, and if I get back into politics, I'll be doing a combination of such deeds, thereof.

3.) I am getting ready to spend five weeks in Europe.

4.) I started a novel. Yup, I did it. I was going strong late April, and then the above shit happened and I haven't even looked at it in a month. But, I am going to go at it again as soon as I am done with this post.

I've been wanting to write about Torture Gate, the Sotamayor appointment, American Democratic Socialism, Conan, and David Carradine, but I just haven't had a moment to be in my own head about anything.

I am again prepared to give you frequent assessments on the banalities produced by my cognition. If that's why you look at this blog, you're in luck, because I'm back.

If you don't like it, you can close this tab and go back to jacking off to bestiality porn.

*"Burger Shots" I guess are what they call them. They aren't great, I prefer a real burger myself, especially as they have sesame seeds on the bun.

Empty Things & Hollow Rings

2009-03-20T15:33:00.001-04:00

Empty Things & Hollow Rings

Things you
got goin'
ain't goin'
no place
at all.

Maybe
you ought
to go
and get
going on
getting
over
things you
don't get
and will
never
ever
have your
hands on.

And if
you are
fixing
some tricks
to make
it in
the mix;
get to
thinkin
sick things
to see
if that
which is
hollow
also

rings.

True Revolution

2009-03-19T03:33:00.001-04:00

True Revolution

Today Azlan is celebrating
liberation
from hostile occupying forces.
With a clearer head and mended soul
he climbs onto
and hikes over
the rubble
to see how he can clear it out.

Not soon enough
he will build
a new nation from what is left
and what can be made.

Since it takes less time to count blessings
than it takes to count the casualties,
Azlan makes a rare but sincere prayer
that the world would learn to remember:

True Revolution comes from within.

God’s Wrath Spared The Rusty Pellican

2009-02-05T03:33:00.011-05:00

God's Wrath Spared The Rusty Pelican

The Gulf Coast of Mississippi is a poorer-man’s west Florida. Before the casinos set up shop in the early 90s, the Biloxi area enjoyed miles of white sandy coastline near water. Most days it looked to be a mosaic of blue and silver glass beads.

After the tide rolled back near dusk, I would collect seashells. I always checked them for crabs. Once, I reached my small, wet, and sandy hand into a conch shell and a gray little bug pinched my fingertip. I yelped, but I didn’t cry, it didn’t hurt too bad. I learned that the hazards of the ocean were different than the hazards of the West Michigan lake shore. I took special note of the washed up jellyfish and Man o’ Wars that rolled in with volumes after every real storm. Those worried me more than the stingrays or the small gray finetooth sharks, because they are nearly invisible. I figured that if I got a shark bite, at least I would have stories to tell. But, I didn't and I don't. Except for the crab, the Gulf’s predators never made prey of me.

Across from the place where you could once rent Sea-Doos, there was a souvenir shop and an old shrimping boat that was washed to shore by Hurricane Camille. Shrimping boats could be seen off in the blue-gray horizon each dawn. To get the freshest catch you would meet shrimpers at the docks at 8 A.M to buy the world’s finest shrimp dirt cheap.

Grubby shrimpers with more scars than teeth would sometimes slice one open in front of you to show you how meaty they are how easy the vein came out. Because of the availability of fresh ingredients, shrimp gumbo was served everywhere. They best might have been the Rusty Pelican, a dive restaurant near my grandparents home.

The sign out front had a large cartoon pelican, and it said in bold letters: PO-BOYS, GUMBO, CHICKEN, FISH, SEAFOOD. A Po-Boy is a large submarine sandwich with thick bread. The best one at the Rusty Pelican had fried crab cakes and was served with a hushpuppy and about a pound of salty carnival fries that were perfectly accompanied by a few splashes of malt vinegar. If you had room, you could also get a slice of Key Lime Pie.

With the humidity, white sand, and bounties of citrus, you would think you were in one of Florida’s finer vacation destinations if not for the prevalence of the Confederate Flag and middle age men going into town without shirts and/or shoes.

At a small market in Pass Christian with my grandparents, I remember a black man in a straw fedora coming into the store, and continence of the old fat man at the register changed completely. With his dry blue-gray eyes he followed him through the store. He stepped a few feet and pulled out a small wooden bat, like a little leaguer might use, out from behind a tall garbage can and he leaned it out of view where he stood near the register.

While grandpa was looking over the booze, the black man made his way through the store. He picked up a bag of potato chips, and a couple of big bottles of beer.

Grandpa paid for his bottle of Seagram’s 7, a copy of The Times-Picayune, and a 3 Musketeers for me, and we headed out. Before we could get to the door the black man went to checkout and man behind the counter told the black man to empty his pockets. By the look of his brown furrowed brow, he was perturbed, but he was used to things and he politely complied. With his chapped hands, he reached into his pocket and laid out on the counter a red Bic lighter, rolling papers, tobacco, his I.D., and a small wad of bills. "I ain't got nothin," he said.

He hadn’t stolen anything. The man behind the counter rang him up. When grandpa and I got back to the car where my grandmother was waiting, I buckled-up in the back seat while my grandfather told her about how Ray shook the man down. “Nigger shit”, said my grandmother. “It’s always nigger shit”.

I didn’t know what she meant. I still don’t.

Re: Small, Dry Places

2009-01-31T03:33:00.006-05:00

Re: Small, Dry Places

Mr McSaddle:

You'll have to go someplace bigger
and less dry
to see how hot you really get.
And if you really put yourself into it
and I mean
REALLY
put yourself into it
you can burn that place down too.

Best Regards Via Seance,

Robert Frost

The Punishing Netherworld

Small, Dry Places

2009-01-21T15:39:00.008-05:00

Small, Dry Places

Some things burn too hot to be in small dry places.
The rooms burn down and all that is left
are the dropped and slacked jaws
of
the assimilated, associated, and confused
pacing about the rubble and orange-hot cinders.
coughing clouds of soot and smoke
as they openly wonder how they will build it again
exactly as it was before.

Employee Discount

2008-12-27T03:33:00.000-05:00

Employee Discount

After Barbra finished her G.E.D, she was able to make enough money as a waitress at the Hominy Diner to get a place of her own in Purcell with her new baby. She went there because she wanted to be "close" (about an hour) to "the city" (Oklahoma City). She landed a job at the new Wal•Mart Super-Center where she started in the stock room and moved up to a cashier position and made an honest if not affluent living.

She lived in a small apartment above the house of a chain-smoking widow before she ended up getting impregnated, married and re-impregnated by Russ, the Assistant Manager, all within 2 years. She moved into Russ's large modular home on an open lot with a man-made pond. It wasn't a bad life, but before their three year anniversary Russ, who was being investigated for running meth to Langston, blew his brains out with a shotgun that he bought with his employee discount.

Slim In The Leg

2008-12-25T03:33:00.006-05:00

Slim In The Leg

Edwardo: What's with the hole on the back of your jeans?

James: My other good pair are crusted because of my unfortunate jaunts through heavily salted slush puddles. I really should wash them before the salt starts to eat through them,

Edwardo: When did you decide that the jeans were unwearable?

James: I guess last Sunday. I knew that I couldn't wear the jeans again without washing them. The filth would have been a spectacle.

Edwardo: So why not wash them? You have free laundry at your place, right?

James: Well, you don't want to wash your denim too often. The oils and stuff in your skin makes the denim sort of custom fit you.

Edwardo: Ewww....gross.

James: No, I insist that this is the best way to wear jeans. Wear them at least five days a week and wash them at a maximum of once a month.

Edwardo: Why?!

James: Because, you start with somewhat snug jeans and they transform into a pair of custom fit jeans. The denim takes on your shape and it fits you better than it could ever fit anyone else. And, in fact, no one else should every wear your jeans. You should be able to wear them until the day you die.

Edwardo: Assuming that a persons waistline stays the same through the ages?

James: Maybe it's an incentive to age more gracefully. . .having old denim to serve as a reference through the decades?

Edwardo: Don't jeans change style over time? Like, wont those just look like cheap old shit in 5 to 15 years?

James: Some things change, but the kind of fit that works for you never does.

Edwardo: Given the presumption that you wont change––

James: At least there's some incentive.

www.TheTruthOrSomethingLikeIt.blogspot.com

Vestigial Organs

2008-11-29T03:33:00.008-05:00

Vestigial Organs

I'll tell you something
about careening
through the scenery
with fiends and creeps
out seeking to be mean
and
struggling to be street
living lean
and
thinking on your feet
until you're
thinking with a blade
deep in your spleen;
And suddenly you're less confused
because
you never miss
what
you never used.

www.TheTruthOrSomethingLikeIt.blogspot.com

Rib Poem # 2

2008-11-28T15:33:00.003-05:00

Rib Poem #2

At Saint Francis’ Youth Group
I learned that woman was birthed
from man's rib.
I guess in a sense then,
Eve
was both
Adam's
daughter and his lover;
Which isn't too strange as I consider the things
Cain and Abel had to do
to get a good piece of ass.

TheTruthOrSomethingLikeIt.blogspot.com

Rib Poem #1

2008-11-28T03:33:00.000-05:00

Rib Poem #1

Baby back ribs
don't fare well against
roasted spare ribs.
If you cook them slow
the meat will fall
right off the bone.

Sef Portrait In Notepad Taken With Webcam

2008-11-20T20:46:00.000-05:00

President-Elect Barack Hussein Obama.

2008-11-05T03:33:00.001-05:00

OBAMA WINS
The Only Thing Better Than Victory Will Be Success

It's not hard to think highly of John McCain, especially when he is as gracious and high-minded in defeat as he was last night.

I know that Barack Obama wants to usher in an era of unity and healing, but it's important that we never forget that Barack Obama is the president-elect DESPITE the fact that the McCain campaign promoted fear, xenophobia and racism because he believed that peoples ignorance was the margin of victory.

John McCain deserved to lose, and today is a good day because of that.

In the coming months, watch for John McCain distance himself from his conduct during the financial crisis, Sarah Palin, and the assertions that Barack Obama was too black, too shady, and too much of a secret terrorist to be President.

While McCain deserved to lose, Barack Obama deserved to win. That makes today a great day, and because he won, I have faith that many more are ahead.

Barack Obama changed how campaigns are run and he has set a new standard for 21st Century Presidential candidates. Obama brought progressive politics into the mainstream by making his case to Middle America. His policies are a huge departure from the status quo, and he has inspired us and prepared us for the Change We Need.

Not everyone voted for Obama, but I have a feeling that deep in the hearts of many that they are rooting for him to do a good job.

I have supported Barack Obama's campaign for president ever since hinted that he might be interested running back in October 2006 on Meet The Press. The only thing better than seeing him win will be watching him succeed.

Election Predictions: Obama by 7% in Popular Vote, 384 Electoral College

2008-11-03T09:52:00.009-05:00

FINAL PREDICTION: Obama by 7%, 384 Electoral Votes.

OBAMA Will Win Most Decisive Election In A Generation.

McCain Running Dishonerable Campaign

2008-10-18T03:33:00.002-04:00

McCain Running Dishonorable Campaign

Worse, It's The Political Equivalent Of A Michael Bay Movie.

Lately I have heard that McCain supporters take issue when he is called "dishonorable". They insist that no man with his war record could ever act dishonorably.

Just because John McCain, failed in his mission, crashed his plane (for the fifth time) and as a result got the shit kicked out of him by a band of malnourished Communist Asians, to whom he revealed classified information in exchange for special treatment doesn't mean he isn't dishonorable.

It certainly doesn't mean that he is beyond serial infidelity, unconscionable corruption, political cowardice, and promoting baseless lies designed to provoke violent racism and xenophobia.

Lately at his rallies, McCain has been prompting some outrageous reactions from his supporters.

For instance,when McCain utters the name of his opponent, Senator Barack Obama (D- Illinois), the crowd has been shouting utterances like "terrorist!", or they say "kill him!" or "off with his head".

They do this without the any admonishment or disapproval from John McCain, who just peels back his lips to reveal his damp, gray and crooked grin, through which his rancid breath escapes in subdued cackle.

Every election year, it seems like someone says that it's about the most dirty election season ever, and usually that notion is just misguided hyperbole. But we live in times where what was ONCE misguided hyperbole is now the most clear and truthful way to describe the world in which we live.

John McCain's campaign is the political equivalent of a film by Michael Bay or Jerry Bruckheimer. It's over budgeted and under developed, it's loud, it's irrational, it's flashy, it's over hyped, it plays to the lowest common denominator and its hard for anyone with cognitive fortitude to watch it for even a moment.

Sarah Palin, the suspension of his campaign, Joe the Plumber: These are overproduced set pieces in a campaign that should never have been. It appears that in this election, people know garbage when they see it, and they are holding their nose at the sight of it.

Still, I worry.

Armageddon and Pearl Harbor each opened at #1.

Personal Doctor: McCain Has 6 to 18 Months To Live

2008-10-13T15:33:00.006-04:00

Doctors: McCain Has Advanced Melanoma,
6 to 18 Months To Live
Mayo Clinic M.D. Originally Reported On Findings, But Has Since Gone Silent

During his first campaign for the White House in 2000, Senator John McCain unconditionally released all of his medical records to the press and gave reporters virtually unlimited access to his entire medical history.

However, last May Sen. McCain agreed to allow only highly restricted access to the very same kind of records. Only selected news organizations and journalists were allowed access to Sen. McCain's medical history during this election cycle. Members of the news media were permitted just three hours to go over 1000s of pages of files in an sealed and isolated room. Reporters were not allowed to use cell phones or use the internet while in the sealed area. Anyone who left the room was not allowed back in. This new level of secrecy baffled many members of the press who remarked that the move was inconsistent with the openness the McCain campaign showed in 2000.

The reason why Sen. McCain has gone from absolute openness with his medical records to a new level of secrecy is because the Senator's health has declined considerably since his original presidential campaign. This decline is not unusual for a man who was 64 eight years ago.

John McCain is 72 years old, and if elected he would be the oldest first-term President in history. Both voters and medical experts have expressed concern that the state of Mr. McCain's health may preclude him from executing the most important tasks of his presidency if he is elected.

At his most recent physical, McCain's personal physician at the Mayo Clinic, Dr. John D. Eckstein said that because of a "serious aliment" that Sen. McCain has just 6 to 18 months to live.

While Dr. Eckstein was not specific on the nature of the illness himself, other experts in the field say that McCain is likely to be suffering from advanced melanoma that could require chemotherapy in the near future. No one is quite sure if McCain's major illness is treatable or if his illness is terminal.

"We aren't going to talk about any potential illness or potential treatment until after the election." said an Senior McCain aide who asked not to be named.

"Right now, it's all speculative" said Dr. Eckstein when he was asked if Senator McCain would be able to maintain a full schedule as President while he underwent chemotherapy. Side effects of the chemotherapy include rapid weight loss, a suppressed immune system,memory loss, malnutrition, nausea and hair loss.

If McCain underwent these procedures it is possible that he would be unable to discharge his duties as President on a full time basis. If elected, McCain might be put in a position where he would have to frequently and regularly invoke the third section of 25th Amendment which would make the Vice President the Acting President.

The constitutional provision was used by Ronald Reagan in 1987 when he underwent surgery as George H.W. Bush became the Acting President. President George W. Bush invoked it when he underwent two separate colonoscopies in 2002 and 2007. However, since the inception of the 25th Amendment, no one has invoked it to cover anything as serious or as long term as chemotherapy.

In a potential McCain administration, current Alaska Governor Sarah Palin would be Vice President and ultimately she would bare the responsibilities of the "Acting President" if section three of the 25th amendment was enacted.

"Even with chemotherapy, the Senator is gravely ill and he is unlikely to serve a full term", said Dr. Eckstein.

The Mayo Clinic physician initially expressed that he was upset that his findings were removed from the medical records to which reporters had access. "Senator McCain would be the oldest first term President ever, and his medical conditions could have a profound impact on his ability to conduct while in office".

Dr. Eckstein was contacted for a follow-up interview, but he did not respond.

How Did The Candidates Respond To The Bailout Failurre?

2008-09-29T15:56:00.003-04:00

Obama & McCain Respond To Bailout Failure

Candidates Show Difference In How They Will Govern

Obama:

Obama said he's confident a deal will be reached on a bailout plan, despite it failing in the House.

Explaining why he was delayed at the start of his event, he said in this town about 20 minutes outside Denver, "I was on the phone with Secretary Paulson as well as the Speaker of the House and the Congressional leaders, because they are still trying to work through this rescue package. And obviously this is a very difficult thing to do. It's difficult because we shouldn't have gotten here in the first place.

"We meet here at a time of great uncertainty for America. The era of greed and irresponsibility on Wall Street and in Washington has led us to a financial crisis as serious as any we have faced since the Great Depression. They said they wanted to let the market run free but instead they let it run wild, and in the process they trampled our American values of fairness, balance, and responsibility to one another. Now, because of speculators who gamed the system and regulators who looked the other way, your jobs, your life savings, and the stability of our entire economy is at risk."

McCain:

When McCain boarded his campaign plane with Rob Portman in preparation for his flight to Des Moines, just as the bailout legislation was defeated on the House floor, he ignored questions shouted by reporters from under the wing about the fate of the bill.

It's unclear if he could hear the questions, but when he heard reporters shouting his name he turned and waved.

Question:

How long before Obama gets 60% in the polls?

Source: NBC News.

John McCain: A Part-Time President?

2008-09-25T11:45:00.014-04:00

McCain Wants To Be A Part-Time President

In Difficult Times, Americans Want An FDR, Not A Hoover

Imagine that if after the bombing of Pearl Harbor that President Franklin Roosevelt didn't address the Congress and the American people by inspiring confidence and strength, but rather he decided that he could only attend to one crisis at a time.

FDR was already taking on The Great Depression when the United States was attacked. After he described December 7, 1941 as "a day that will live in infamy", he went on to say,

"With confidence in our armed forces - with the unbounding determination of our people - we will gain the inevitable triumph."

Even though the United States was struggling through double-digit unemployment and a shaken economy during The Great Depression, FDR knew that he had to mobilize the nation and the world against dire threats to their liberty, sovereignty and safety.

John McCain, ever the maverick, decided that approach wasn't for him.

Upon what has been described as one of the worst economic crisis' since The Great Depression, John McCain has decided to focus on one thing while ignoring another important thing.

This week, John McCain said that he would suspend his campaign, and he had requested to delay the Presidential Debate scheduled for Friday at 9PM E.S.T.

Apparently Sen. McCain who has been the Congress' most absent Senator is in a rush to fix the economic crisis that he, Bush and the Republicans in Congress helped to create.

McCain insists on ignoring one important task to work on a crisis that he is admittedly not qualified to handle. He does this despite the fact that whoever wins this election will have to be a full-time Commander-In-Chief, a full-time steward of the economy, and a full time President.

If FDR didn't multitask and show a willingness to take on one of the worst domestic crisis' in US history along with the greatest crisis' of war simultaneously, we would be a very different country today.

Would we have been better off if FDR decided not to fight World War II so that he could focus on the economy? Probably not.

McCain's decision is further evidence of his poor temperament and erratic decision making process, which has recently disturbed even the most conservative political observers.

The President of the United States doesn't get an excused absence. When a candidate for President asks for one, he shouldn't be taken seriously.

Barack Obama on the other hand, has called McCain out. He remarked that it is especially important for the American people to hear from the people who will eventually be responsible for this mess.

In about 40 days, the American people will have their say on who is best equipped to lead through this and every crisis we will endure for the next four years. Because of this, it is now especially important for Sen. McCain and Sen. Obama to have an audience with the voting electorate about where they intend to lead this country.

Barack Obama understands that, if elected, he will have to be a full-time President.

McCain doesn't.

Do We Need A Hoover or Do We Need A Roosevelt?

Election Season Leads To Near-Fisticuffs In French Class

2008-09-18T03:33:00.011-04:00

John McCain Est Un Sac De Douche
Insults Are An Important Part Of The French Language, No?

The other day in French class, we were learning how to describe things. (Il est/Elle est = He is/She is).

One of the exercises included finding five ways to describe a celebrity. The choices included Will Smith, Michael Phelps, Charles De Gaule, George Bush, Barack Obama, Sarah Palin, and John McCain among others.

A fellow that sat behind me said that he was going to describe John McCain and said "Il est indépendant, Il est intelligent". Which, of course, is total bullshit in any language.

When he was done, I said "John McCain? Il est douchebag!". Most of the class laughed including the youngish instructor. I admit that it was a cheap shot and that a majority of the class was more impressed by my used of the word "douchebag" than my criticism of John McCain.

After class, the guy who lavished praise upon McCain in the language of romance walked by my desk as I was packing up to leave.

" [COUGH]douchebag[COUGH]faggot[COUGH]" he muttered.

Yep, he did the thing where he coughed an insult. What's worse is that as he did it he walked away. I was mostly offended because he thought he could insult me and that I would pretend that I didn't hear it just to avoid escalation. As Bugs Bunny said, "He don't know me too well, do he?"

"Excuse me?", I said to him. He didn't acknowledge me, and his back was to me was he walked to the teacher.

"Excuse me! Did you have something to say to me?" I said to him as I picked up my pace without his acknowledgement.

Finally, I stepped in front of him and leaned over into his face.

"Excuse me? Did you have something to say to me?"

He looked at me, but he didn't say anything. Still in front of him, I reiterated.

" Because I am right here."

"Uh, your outrageous comments, uh. . ."

"Outrageous? I think what you said was outrageous! You put your opinion out there, and so did I. I even did it in French! But you, you went ahead and insulted me, and you thought I would ignore it.

He was silent and clearly jarred.

"Maybe next time if you have something to say to me, you'll say it to my face? How's that sound?"

He didn't say anything.

I jetted off in a fuming rage, because this Pugsley Adams looking bastard draped in his American Eagle reminded me of every half-thinking spoiled Detroit-burb moron who thinks that John McCain is the cats pajamas.. He looks like the kind of guy whose interests, outside of Republican politics, include taking dates to Fazoli's and then raping them in the Pontiac Vibe that his dad, an Oakland Country lawyer, bought for him.

Obviously, politics shouldn't escalate to this kind of personal confrontation. But, I am emotionally invested in this election, and after seeing how mean spirited and ruthless the Republican's have been in winning elections and fighting the culture war, I decided that I should be no less cruel or dangerous.

It's a shame that this Preidential election has become so contentious that it almost came to fisticuffs in a French class.

But, that fucker will probably never cough & walk ever again.

McCain Voted For Bill That Led To Mortgage Crisis

2008-09-16T03:33:00.001-04:00

McCain Voted For Banking Deregulation Bill
The bills author is his chief economic adviser.

In response to the fall of Lehman brothers and the sixth worst day ever on Wall Street, John McCain said, "I promise that we wont put America in this position again. . .this is a failure".

John McCain should know, he voted for the Gramm-Leach-Bliley Act which led to the banking deregulation that allowed the mortgage industry to adopt predatory loan practices that offered mortgages to those with a poor or thin credit history who had unreliable or low incomes.

The legislation also permitted spikes in the interest rates and monthly payments of these mortgages, which led to millions of Americans losing their homes.

Basically, John McCain voted to allow the Mortgage Industry to become Check-N-Go.

So much for "the ownership society" Bush campaigned on in 2004.

What is worse is that the author of the bill, former Texas Senator Phil Gramm, is John McCain's chief economic advisor. You might remember Phil Gramm as the guy who said that people who complained about economic hardship are "whiners".

Not only did John McCain support this catastrophic deregulation upon its inception, he has made its author his chief economic adviser. John McCain clearly lacks the judgment and desire to give America a new direction on the economy and give Americans a better quality of life.

I guess he wasn't kidding when he said he didn't know much about the economy.

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McCain Puts Politics First, Country Second

2008-09-10T08:07:00.008-04:00

Veep Pick Proves McCain Puts Country Second
And Politics First

Republicans: "Sarah Palin is so Pro-Life that she keeps the duds!"

What if Geraldine Ferarro and Dan Quayle had a child? The answer is Sarah Palin, John McCain's newly minted runningmate. Palin already has a unique place in history as being the first candidate to be both woefully unqualified and selected chiefly because of her gender.

McCain's choice for Vice President matters more in this election than in those previous because he would be the oldest first-term President ever at the age of 72. Aside from his numerous bouts with cancer, men his age are known to drop dead spontaneously. Because of this, John McCain might not be able serve throughout all of George Bush’s third term. People who vote for the self-proclaimed “Original Maverick” should know that they are voting for a Sarah Palin administration every bit as much as they are voting for a McCain administration.

Palin’s light resume, her extremist views, and her history of corruption and lies are enough to make a lot of voters wonder if John McCain was in possession of all his cognitive faculty when he chose Palin to be his running mate. After all, he had met her only once and officials from his Vice Presidential search committee had arrived in Alaska to do a background check on Palin just one day before the announcement was made and the McCain/Palin yard signs printed.

McCain and Palin are now calling themselves the “The Original Mavericks” in an effort to make people forget that McCain-Bush policies have been driving the country for the past eight years. Sarah Palin is already famous for saying that she opposed building the ‘bridge to nowhere”, which is a half-billion dollar Alaskan bridge project that connected to an island with a population of less than 50 people, which has become emblematic of wasteful pork-barrel spending. By comparison, the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco was built for 400 million in today’s dollars.
But, in fact during her gubernatorial election, Palin supported the project whole-heartedly. She only rejected it after it began to provoke outrage and mockery across the nation. Worse? She kept the quarter-billion dollars of congressional pork-barrel earmarks for the bridge and spent it on other projects.

Even though there is now a broad consensus that her remarks fall far short of the truth, she hasn’t corrected herself on the campaign trail. In fact, Palin keeps repeating the same line verbatim from town to town, without any reluctance or evidence of shame. She is either oblivious to the facts or she is an outright liar.

Either way, we have had enough ignorance and dishonesty throughout the past eight years under the Bush Administration; and if you want a change in the direction of the country, John McCain and Sarah Palin are the wrong choice.

Palin, is currently under investigation for misusing her role as governor to have her sister’s ex-husband fired from the Alaska State Police, which is an amazing feat given that she has only been Governor for about a year and a half.

During her 19 months in office, Palin spent 312 days in her own home and charged the tax payers for meals and apparent business expenses, just like any other “Hockey Mom”. If you want a departure from the culture of corruption that has been emboldened by the Bush Administration, John McCain and Sarah Palin are the wrong choice.

Sarah Palin’s radical right-wing worldview is unlikely to jive with Hillary Clinton voters or anyone who might have considered voting for Barack Obama.

Palin is a global warming skeptic, which means that she does not believe that global warming exists or is man-made, despite an overwhelming evidence-based consensus to the contrary. This is a view so extreme that she is out of the touch with the top of the ticket. John McCain has in the past admitted that global warming is real phenomenon. There is no word on McCain’s position since receiving millions of campaign contributions from oil company lobbyists.

Palin is also against abortion rights in all instances, even if a woman is a victim of incest or rape. This is a view way outside the political and practical mainstream. What is even more repulsive is that Palin has allowed the McCain campaign to make a political prop out of her infant son who was born with downs syndrome. There wasn’t a single night during the Republican Convention where someone didn’t mention little Trig Palin. It’s almost as though the Republicans are saying:

“Hey America! Look! Sarah Palin keeps having children, and she is so Pro-Life that she keeps the duds!”

Because she refuses to participate in news interviews, we don’t know if Palin agrees with the assertion of the Bush administration that all contraception can be considered legally the same as an abortion. For that matter, we don’t know if she has any thoughts on anything other than moose burgers and protecting the right to hunt wolves with a helicopter.

Sarah Palin also breaks with John McCain, conventional wisdom, as well as science and reason in her opposition to life-saving medical research on stem cells. If you feel like the clash of ideologies is stymieing progress in Washington D.C. and you want more pragmatic decision makers in the White House, John McCain and Sarah Palin are the wrong choice.

The Palin pick exposes a lot about John McCain’s leadership style and decision-making process. You have to wonder if John McCain would be as equally hasty when choosing an Attorney General or a Secretary of State. The Bush years are a barely-living testament to how putting ideological purity before operational competence can sink a Presidential administration. These are the people who after all gave us Donald Rumsfeld, Harriet Meyers, and Michael “Brownie, you’re doin’ a heck of a job” Brown. And now they have given us Sarah Palin.

As Sarah Palin claims to have told Washington when it came to the “Bridge To No-Where”, tell them “thanks, but no thanks”.

The 45th President Of The United States?

Obama's Runnngmate & Vice President Will Be:

2008-08-16T14:40:00.007-04:00

Evan Bayh

The Indiana Senator and Former Governor Offers Political and Practical Payoff

Evan Bayh isn't my first choice for Vice President but I haven't offered a more coherent way of choosing a running mate for Barack Obama. The biggest challenge is that it's been hard to find someone who can both balance his strengths and who doesn't highlight his perceived-weaknesses.

For instance, it's been hard to find someone who can reaffirm Obama's brand of "Change" and who also has a great depth of old-school experience, (the Tim Kaine/Kathleen Sebelius challenge) Likewise, it's been hard to find someone who balances Obama on experience-perceptions but who doesn't obscure the "Change" brand (the Joe Biden challenge).

Ultimately, Barack Obama is at the top of the ticket, and people are going to be voting for him or against McCain. Evan Bayh does not directly reaffirm Obama's “Change” message. He's been in politics for 20 years as a popular two term Governor of Indiana and winning two terms to the U.S. Senate. But, Evan Bayh is a moderate-centrist Democrat, exactly the kind I don't vote for at the top of a ticket.

But Bayh has the background to help make an Obama Administration highly effective and successful. Between his experience cutting taxes while balancing the budget along with his decade-long experience and relationships in the Senate, he can do a lot to making Obama's inspiration-cast vision into a strong legislative and administrative strategy that Obama will need if he is to truly bring substantive Change to Washington. Don't think for a minute that that isn't still on the table.

Bayh also has served on the Senate Foreign Affairs Committee, and also the select Committee on Intelligence, so his brain trust can give valuable insight as Obama forms foreign policy decisions with guys like Joe Biden and Bill Richardson. Yes, Bayh voted for the war and has at times had a hawkish stance, but Obama has always said that he wants a Vice President that will challenge him and express disagreement. At the end of the day, the decisions on war and peace as well as prosperity and wellness will indeed be Obama's to make, and can he have more confidence in those decisions knowing that they have been tested and challenged by people who are competent and achieved.

What really sets Bayh apart from other contenders is that he is good at not bringing too much attention to himself, because rarely does a showy running mate bring positive attention to the top of the ticket. He has done a decent job of not making it look like he wants it too badly.

Obama is in a position to win Indiana. A Democrat hasn't won Indiana since 1964, but the map has been changing. Some congressional and state legislative races in 2006 showed Indiana to be veering Democratic, and most polls show Obama with a slight lead there. This is especially remarkable because Indiana went for Bush by a margin of 60% to Kerry's 39%. Also, North West Indiana is in the Chicago Media Market, and they have seen Obama in local media for many years and they know him very well there, and they like him, as evidenced by his performance in the primary.

Evan Bayh is a popular former Governor who has twice been elected to the Senate from that state with huge margins. If Obama wins Indiana, McCain is toast unless he picks up Pennslyvania, Minnesota or Wisconsin. At the very least McCain will have to spend money to keep it Red, which means he spends less time and money on Ohio, Nevada, New Mexico, Michigan, Virginia and Florida.

* Evan Bayh balances the ticket with his experence in:
* National Security and Intelligence
* The Economy & the Budget
* Formulating legislative strategy
* Being too mellow to cause trouble
* Being a Hillary supporter who can help heal remaining rifts.
* Winning statewide elections in Indiana.

Between his experience and mellow demeanor, Evan Bayh can balance Obama on the ballot and in the White House much the same way Al Gore balanced Bill Clinton.

Then again, it COULD be Delaware Senator Joe Biden.

(theTruthOrSomethingLikeIt.blogspot.com)

The Infidelities Of Johns Edwards & McCain

2008-08-10T03:33:00.008-04:00

The Infidelities Of Johns Edwards & McCain
Why The Edwards Story Is Worse For John McCain

When something bad happens to a well-known leader in the Democratic Party, you might expect that the Democratic Party might suffer.

Those of us that have been paying close attention to this election have noticed that Republicans have been quick to exploit any news story that can be distorted to discredit Barack Obama. But with the Edwards story, John McCain and the Republicans are treading lightly this time.

Why? Because John McCain's vapid, shallow and crotchety campaign has been based on two things:

First, the McCain campaign is out to assassinate the character, policies and campaign narrative of Barack Obama with an alarmingly vitriolic and immature tone that more and more voters are finding repulsive.

The second part of the McCain campaign strategy is to continue his hyperbolic glamorization about his service and character. John McCain wants you to believe that getting shot down and beaten up is a qualification to lead, and that taking on populist policy positions as part of an image-making strategy after the Keating Five scandal somehow validates the assertion that he is an independent minded maverick.

There is a growing consensus throughout the voting community that John McCain’s self-manufactured image as maverick-foreign affairs guru-former fly-boy is little more than a thin marketing strategy that worked better eight years ago.

So, of course John McCain doesn’t want the public to be reminded of his character flaws, which includes his violent and vulgar temperament as well as propensity toward skank-pronging.

John McCain’s first wife, Carol waited years for her husband while he was in a P.O.W. camp. When he came home to find that the former model was severely injured in a car accident.

Despite his apparently catastrophic war injuries on the behalf of the Viet Cong, he was able to muster the strength and virility to commit hundreds of infidelities with dozens of women.

When he finally found an FWB who had extensive connections in Republican politics and who was a millionaire heiress to the Anheuser-Busch fortune, he left Carol outright.

McCain even had the audacity to get a marriage license to wed Cindy McCain, (the infamous pill-popping Stepford Wife) before his divorce with Carol was final.

So, while John Edwards was egregiously unfaithful, I’m sure McCain would like it better if the public wasn’t talking about the marital infidelities of politicians.

Especially when his character-myth is the lynchpin of his campaign narrative.

Artistic Selfishness: A Visual Rhetoric Project

2008-07-10T03:33:00.001-04:00

Click Image To View Full Size

The Ides Of July

2008-07-05T15:33:00.000-04:00

Ides Of July

The Ides Of July
will soon be past.
Breathe a warm sigh
when the haze lifts.
But remember,
August wont last
and warm air shifts.

Living Comfortably

2008-06-29T03:33:00.011-04:00

Living Comfortably
Maybe You Can Be A Pimp And A Prostitute Too

I know that it's been a while since I have made a post. But the reason for that is because my summer has been relaxing and I haven't been prompted to talk about anything. I've also become weary about what I post because, though this East Lansing/MSU community is the largest I have been a part of, it is also the most hyperconnected.

I think that it is possible that through all of my years that different parts of my life might have had these cosmically Seinfeldian interconnections all along. I have only come to recognize them in recent years because of the socially and technologically constructed parameters provided by Facebook™. Sometimes it chills me to the bone to see this macroscopic view of my social identity, which is itself shaped by this relatively new technology. Corporations and workplaces have come to look at peoples Facebook™ profiles when making hiring decisions, so apparently these things are being taken seriously. Maybe that's why the "Death To Israel" group has only 200 or so members despite an apparently well organized global jihad against the Jewish state. Then again, if you're serious about destroying Zionism, you might not want to organize it in the same place that is used to promote the César Chávez Day Beerpong Tournament (I'll be there).

It's just another thing we have to be afraid of, like tomatoes. The tomato recall disrupted access to tomatoes in my area for about a week, and it had a serious impact on me. I went to Subway on Monday and there were no tomatoes available as a topping, which made the trays of meats and veggies look woefully incomplete. On Friday I went to Taco Bell and I ordered three tacos "Fresco Style", which is basically –instead of cheese they put on a fresh chopped (in a food processor) tomato-cilantro salsa, which improves the product greatly. They said that they couldn't do the Fresco style because of the Tomato Famine. I wondered if I would have to emigrate away from my home the way my Irish countryman did in the mid-eighteenth century. I ended up getting substandard tacos within an vendor that is itself substandard to anyone with even minimal culinary decency. I understand why people give me shit for occasionally going to Taco Bell, but sometimes what's wrong is right.

The Spinach recall from last summer didn't effect me as much because I don't think that I have had fresh Spinach since the last time I've had a salad that cost me more than $8.00, which must have been in 2005, when I had money.

Honestly, though this simpler life is more rewarding. I am about the most comfortable I could be given the modestness of my means, whereas before I was the most miserable I could be given my affluence at the time. Sometimes working within limitations has some payoff.

Part of the reason I'm living comfortably is because my roommate, Billy had set us up with an apartment in an upscale student ghetto. It's spacious, cool in the summer, and its windows provide for ample natural light. Except for a laundry room, it has no facilities to speak of, but you can't beat $150 a month with your own bedroom. For my day job I mostly work for college prep related scams like Kaplan®. It doesn't pay bad, but it doesn't pay great either. Besides, exploiting the ignorant and weak has been losing it's charm.

My income is supplemented by a cheap source of alcohol, as I am providing free legal services to some illegal Mexican immigrants. They were being abused and exploited at a Chinese Restaurant in East Lansing. They were paid $6.00 and hour as dishwashers, cooks and bus boys. Their home was a basement shelter under a floor-board door in the kitchen where they were locked overnight without a toilet or running water. The 60 year old Singaporean owner with liver spots, rotted teeth and greasy thin graying hair would frequently grope the 12 and 13 year old girls, who were the oldest females of 8 children, none of whom were allowed to go to school.

I was waiting to pay for my Empress Chicken when one of the bus boys dropped me a note. In Spanish, the note had told me of his family's predicament. I think he expected me to contact the authorities, but that if I did they would be deported. So, I had opted to bust them out myself which turned out to be easier than it sounds. All I had to do was sneak by at 3:oo AM while the old man was out on the other side of town with some tween Eastern European hooker. I pried out the rotted wooden back-door deadbolt with a crow-bar that I always keep in the trunk of my car. Over the floorboard door under which the family was being kept, there was a large movable kitchen-prep table with all the wheels braked. Apparently the old man wanted to take extra precautions to see to it that the family didn't escape. I un-braked all the little black wheels and rolled the table off the floorboard. I snapped off the Master Lock with some bolt cutters that I borrowed from Billy. They were initially reluctant to come with me until the grandmother exclaimed, "¡Mire sobre Gabriel con el pelo de oro hermoso!" After they were free I had set them up with a Catholic charity that was sympathetic to their plight.

They charity set them up with a safe house in the rural outskirts of town where some of them worked the fields and some worked the local farmers market for minimum wage. They were also provided a shelter in the upper floor of a Victorian home. They are making payments to the host family toward a 1987 Chevey Astro with a leaky radiator that they got for $500. Manuel, the father and Carlos, the oldest son spend their evenings working on the van so they have it to get to church and to get groceries on their day off.

The family has been exceptionally thankful for my efforts to set them up with a better life. Also, because of a language confusion, they think I am some how in charge around these parts, like some kind of rural Mexican warlord. The grandmother calls me "ángel-mago" which translated means "angel-wizard". Because of these things, they supply me with one or two half gallons of good hard liquor every week. Usually it is Bacardi Superior or Svedka Vodka. Sometimes it's a decent Scotch or a bottle of 1800 Tequila. When times are tougher, they can only give me one but they always apologize and explain their situation. I always graciously accept their apology and tell them that they can make up for it when times turn around.

Maybe I don't deserve the credit for their well being, but I'll take it anyway. I figure it makes up for all the times I took the blame for things I had no part of. I learned from the best: the establishment hacks and special interest hay-seeds I used to work for in Lansing and D.C. I'm not sure if they'd hire me again if they saw this in my Facebook™ profile, but I've been making a good life without them.

Skewered

2008-06-08T03:33:00.001-04:00

Skewered

I had embarrassed myself
pretty badly.
The stress of secrets and existential crises
made it easy to guzzle
all those creamy White Russians;
which by the way
is comfort food
for drunks.
Sadly,
it had been happening a lot more around that time
so I was becoming more skilled in the lost art of the apology
and recovering some of my repute.

On this particular occasion I used food.
I went out and bought everything:
Some lean beef that was on sale,
red onions, tomatoes,
both green and red peppers.
I made amends among friends
while I made marinade
and while I cut steak into chunks
and the peppers and onions
into pieces are big enough
so that they wouldn’t slip
through the
grill grates.

Rather than angry,
they were mostly worried about me:
True to the nature of too good of friends.
It made me feel even worse
that I was consequence free.

I have always
felt that the heat
and the fire
make us less raw and more full of flavor and tastes
like they make the onions and
peppers sweeter and give the
beef a good char.
And being skewered through
like browning, juicing kabobs
helps us keep it together
as we endure hot orange coals.

Too Big For Your Britches

2008-06-03T03:33:00.001-04:00

Too Big For Your Britches

Bruno's neck resembles pancake batter as it spills out of his shirt color while his necktie hangs loose and flaccid. It looked as though it fit him at one time, but he had gotten too fat. He came in at 10:15 AM, fifteen minutes before session and tapped me for all I had learned in the five meetings that I had been in since I had seen him yesterday at 3:30 PM shortly before he left back toward home with the female district aide.

I asked him if he had looked over the position paper I had given him. He said that he glanced at it and I knew he was lying. He asked me if the bill's sponsor had donated to the campaign, and I said that they had. The female district aide had intervened, saying that the bill's opposition would likely give him more for his next campaign, and he went with her as he always does when she has anything to say, which is seldom but still too often.

I had fifteen minutes to explain a days worth of work. I'll have to put the rest of into a position paper and hope without expecting that it will get read. That job had fit me at one time, but I've gotten too big for my britches too.

Possible Electoral Maps

2008-05-28T16:44:00.003-04:00

Tell Me Why This Can't Happen This Year

Make Your Own At: http://www.270towin.com/

What's Good That's Oval?

2008-05-27T03:33:00.000-04:00

What's Good That's Oval?

What’s good that’s Oval?
Oval is not the same as Ovular
so you can’t say eggs or caviar,
which are obviously ovums, not ovals.
Circles, Squares
Triangles
and
Rectangles
pretty much get it done.

McSaddle's Buffalo Chicken Bleu Cheese Pizza

2008-05-25T15:33:00.002-04:00

A Confluence Of The Beloved
McSaddle's Buffalo Chicken Bleu Cheese Pizza

I'm a sucker for good buffalo wings with bleu cheese; it's one of my weaknesses. There is something about the heat you get from a good wing-sauce with the rich savory creaminess you get with Bleu Cheese that makes all my toes curl with delight. These are flavors that have earned their way off the Bar Menu, and into my heart.

No, I don't think I'm over-selling it. Fuck you.

What You'll Need

Sweet Baby Ray's Buffalo Wing Sauce
Chicken Breast Tenders, sliced thin
Red Onion
Red Bell Pepper
Green Bell Pepper
Shredded Monterey Jack Cheese (1 cup)
Smoked Gouda cheese (1/2 Cup)
Gooey Bleu Cheese Chunks (1/3 Cup)

The Sauce:

1.) On the stovetop mix 1 1/2 cups of Sweet Baby Ray's Buffalo Wing Sauce with 1/3 a cup of flower and 1 cup of Heavy Whipping Cream (half & half or whole milk could work). Whisk while in the pan with the stove on high until all the ingredients blend. Put on low heat

The Chicken

2.) Make a batter out of flower, sea salt, ground pepper, and parsley, cream and one egg. Remember to mix your dry ingredients together in a separate bowl.

3.) Put thawed chicken through a bath of whipped egg and cream and then coat in the dry ingredients. Put each piece in a hot pan with oil.

4.) Once the chicken is cooked all the way through add it to your pan of Buffalo Sauce and stir regularly.

The Crust

5.) Make this how you want, I often use a pre-made crust from Pillsbury. You might consider putting oil on your pan and pre-baking the crust, especially if you have an electric oven.

The Toppings

6.) You should strain your pot of sauce over the crust so you don't dump out your chicken. As with all the toppings it should be heavier on the outside than in the middle.

The base cheese is Monterey Jack. I would feel free to use a whole cup or more. This should go on first.

Add your chicken generously throughout the pizza and put on top of it the thin slices of Gouda.

Finely chop all the vegetables. The smaller and more thin you cut them, the more they will cook, and I'll tell you when you get those red onions to caramelize and you get the red peppers to sweeten you will thank me.

Wherever you don't have a slice of chicken, lay down a chunk of Bleu Cheese.

The Face Of Love

Buy What You Can't Steal

2008-05-20T03:33:00.005-04:00

What You Can’t Buy vs. What You Can’t Charm

That fellow of yours,
what’s he got going on?
What’s he offering?

You have said yourself
that it’s not a lot.
A pothead without a job:
just how does he pull that one off?
He must be smarter
than I thought
and
how he looks.

I might be a drunk
but at least
I mix a good drink
and I make enough
to buy that
which I can’t steal.
But that’s not enough
to steal that
which I cannot charm.

Coming Home To Me

2008-05-19T15:33:00.003-04:00

Coming Home To Me

You came home from work
and you pulled your hairpins out
and shook your long hair about
smelling of lilacs and biscotti
and it brought me to my knees.
You wear it well, Barista Marie.
But I still wish
you were
coming home to me.

In A Life, A Day

2008-05-19T03:33:00.001-04:00

In The Life, A Day.

In the morning, I struggle to gather myself.
With my eyes closed to the spring sun,
I move my back off the mattress
and my bare feet onto the floor.

In the afternoon, I regret skipping breakfast.
Whilst at work, I scrounge for freebees.
Fruit and roast beef?! Not bad at all!
And better than fresh, it was free.

In the evening, I neglect my homework and chores
and instead I drink rum cocktails
or beer while I cackle with friends.
I think that’s what lifes’ meant to be.

In the late night, I stumble a mile back home.
I undress and I brush my teeth.
I move my bare feet off the floor
and my back onto the mattress.

Wartime Prosperity: ?

2008-05-10T16:33:00.000-04:00

Whatever Happened To Wartime Prosperity?

Those who are out to discredit Franklin Roosevelt and progressive government always remark that it wasn’t the New Deal that pulled America out of the Great Depression, but rather World War II. The people who espouse this platitude do so because it gives them an opportunity to criticize liberalism AND endorse war.

In the story All My Sons by Arthur Miller, Chris, a World War II veteran remarks about the guilt that he has about post-war prosperity. He somehow feels that his newfound wealth, his new car, his new appliances, and even his new woman came out of the tragedy of World War II. He said that there was blood on all of it. He felt that all there was to enjoy out of the war was somehow loot born out of death and destruction.

But where is the wartime prosperity today? We have blood on our hands but nothing in our pockets. You would think that Bush’s vision of perpetual global war would mean perpetual American prosperity, but this is not the case. Those who have been lucky enough to keep their jobs see their wages are in decline, especially against an alarmingly rapid rate of inflation. Four dollar a gallon gas hurts not only those who commute regularly, but it also hurts anyone who buys food or anything else at the store that is shipped by truck, rail, or air. It costs more to ship produce, dairy and meat; so the cost is of the shipping is passed along to the consumer at the checkout lane; it’s a phenomenon called cost-push Inflation.

At onetime there was a widely held belief that under Republican governance you would have competent stewardship over foreign affairs, even if you had to put up with economic mismanagement, legislative proselytizing, and garish jingoism. There is no longer any reason to subscribe to the illusion that there is a positive trade-off under GOP rule; because today the middle class and the truly destitute endure a gradual genocide of negligence as America loses two foreign wars. Still, there will be people who insist, as Barack Obama says, “that John McCain serve-out George Bush’s third term”.

The reason I’m thinking about this is because this weekend I am visiting my hometown of Muskegon, MI. Muskegon is along the coast of Lake Michigan, and it has great beaches and woodlands. Trough it runs two major highways, a river, and railroad. It even has an airport. It has much of the same things as many of America’s great cities, but somehow this town has not only failed to leap ahead but it has fallen behind.

Like so much of the Midwest it is still an aging Rustbelt town. Its local economy is dominated by industrial parks that feed the tragically faltering auto-industry. The only other work available is seasonal employment in the tourism industry, which is basically low paying jobs at campgrounds, amusement parks, and resort restaurants. And the tourism industry of course takes a major hit as it becomes more expensive to travel. There are no opportunities for an educated person here, despite it’s clear geographic advantage.

Whenever I travel any distance, I try to take my meals at a place that is unique, at a place I can’t get anywhere else. It irks me that anyone would go to McDonald’s when traveling to L.A. given the availability of In-And-Out and endless other opportunities. On this particular visit, I decided to visit Mr. Quick’s because it’s not something I can get in East Lansing. In fact, I started writing this while sitting in line at the drive-through.

Allright, I got my cheeseburgers. Let me explain Mr. Quick’s to you. It is an exclusively Muskegon franchise. It’s a burger joint, and I can’t really say that any that stuff is better than McDonald’s, it’s certainly less processed-tasting. They have four locations, but they used to have more. It has somehow managed to not go under, possibly because it is a popular location for the elderly because of its senior discounts. There are often old folks in there before 11am ordering Biscuits and Gravy and full breakfasts including fried eggs, the quality of which I can’t remark upon because I haven’t tried it. They do have a quality Pork BBQ sandwich that’s on special every Wednesday; I used to pick one up now and then on my way to my third-shift as a security guard at Michigan Adventure.

But what I really go to Mr. Quick’s for is the infamous Bargain Bundle. No one who values their own life would order the Bargain Bundle more than once every year or two. The Bargain Bundle is five cheeseburgers and a quarter-pound of fries that in the mid-nineties cost less than five dollars. I went though the line today and I paid about 7.50 for the same deal. I suppose that isn’t a bad deal in era of $4.00 a gallon gas.

Mr. Quick’s though has a reputation for being skuzzy. While a student at Fruitport Middle School, I was exposed to a popular rumor that Mr. Quick’s used road kill to make its burgers. I was always in disbelief about this rumor chiefly because I figured that the burgers would be bigger. My disbelief was the product of my own youthful innocence and a less cynical time. If I were a pre-teen during the Gee-Dubya Bush Administration, I would have easily believed that there were assholes out there that would not only serve you road kill, but that they would also undersell road kill. I don’t know if I am less skeptical or if I am more cynical today, but as a seventh grader, I would never have believed that anyone would both poison you and rob you at the same time. These days, I don’t write it off.

I ate the burgers hours ago, and I report that I am slowed down and nauseous but I am still alive.

Fuck You Finals Week!

2008-04-27T16:33:00.003-04:00

The Doom Looms
It's Been A Long Time Since It's Been Cool To Be A Slacker

Finals week has reminded me of why I was so eager to graduate from college the first time. Thank god I don't have to take anything like chemistry, which has cumulative exams and requires you to actually comprehend the material.

HOLY FUCK what kind of place would I be in if I had to do things that I couldn’t bullshit? I'm at a point in my life where I can't do anything that can't be bullshitted– seriously, who would want to do anything in life that required actual competence, knowledge or skills? In order to succeed in such a field you would need preparation and effort. I am not down with that these days.

The other night I had a dream that I was in some beachside shack trying to write something on a typewriter. Some of the keys were hard to push down, and whenever I got into a flow of typing I would get to those keys that were harder to push down and looking upon the page under the ribbon I saw that I had letters missing in all of my words. It was full of typos and it was more of an incoherent mess than this blog. I wondered if it was an omen of some kind.

There is no shortage of people who want to be published writers, and the odds of success are against me. It is entirely possible that I will die in poverty. Not by suicide, that is too much of a writer cliché. No, I will probably be killed by another hobo for my last bottle of Wild Irish Rose. That fucker will know that he can't get me while I'm awake, so he will get me while I am asleep nuzzling my bottle by the burning barrel at the abandoned train yard. He will probably find a cinder block and crack my skull open, or he will stab me in the chest with a loose rail-spike that he found.

What a way to go! The irony of it will be that I won’t die as the result of my own alcoholism, desperation or destitution but rather I will die of someone else’s. It will be an irony worth writing about. Sadly, someone else will cash in on it.

Something Good

2008-04-22T16:33:00.001-04:00

Something Good

What do you say we get a little something good going?
You and I should get together
and be good friends in fair weather
since we haven’t got anything
real rolling.
We might as well have us something
that’s good going
while going’s good
and the terms
are
understood.

You Get What You Deserve

2008-04-18T16:33:00.000-04:00

You Get What You Deserve

Hillary Clinton, the former first lady will most likely win the Pennsylvania Primary on Tuesday, but probably not by the crushing margin she had thought six-weeks previous.

Barack Obama the Senator from Illinois is poised to win Guam, Indiana, North Carolina, Oregon, Montana and South Dakota in the weeks ahead, and by June 3 all the contests will be over. At the end of all the nominating contest he will be ahead in overall delegates, pledged delegates, the popular vote, states won, and he will still be polling better against John McCain than Hillary Clinton.

History will judge Hillary’s campaign for the White House as a failed experiment in girl-power. Looking back on the past twenty years it will be clear that the Spice Girls did more to promote a positive view of feminism and woman-empowerment than Mrs. Rodham-Clinton.

It's better for womankind though that the first female nominee for President from a major party not be the spouse of a former President. It's not just because it is a formula for defeat but because it would be regarded by the masses that the first woman to have a serious shot at the White House would only have had made things happen by virtue of nepotism and a certain sentiment of socially engineering affirmative action enabled by a certain core constituencies of the Democratic Party.

To be fair though, Hillary Clinton is in many ways a better candidate than most of the choices that were available in 2004. But in this most recent contest the fiery populist John Edwards 2008 (2.0) was a far superior product to not only the establishment hack Hillary Clinton, but also to the establishment lightweight John Edwards of 2004 (BETA). But what is most important is that Senator Barack Obama is better than them all.

It's no wonder Hillary is out for blood. She knew that in 2004 a White House run would have started in haste and ended in disaster. She would have lost as badly or worse than John Kerry. She had all along been counting on a John Kerry defeat so that she could have her time in the sun four years later. Even given the tragedy and disgrace that has ensued since November 2004, she would probably have still been crossing her fingers that John Kerry would sink his prospects of winning by eating escargot and almond-crusted brie at a Red Wings game if it could mean she had a shot at George Bush's job in 2008.

However, she didn't count on the fact that the Bush Administration would implode the way it did. Even those of us who saw it coming didn't have a clear idea about the complete clusterfuck of an economy he would leave us with and how our energy crisis would have persisted completely unabated. Nor would we have ever predicted that Hurricane Katrina would have exposed such disgraceful poverty and governmental incompetence. We didn't know that the Jihad For Jesus would have made a giant stink about Terri Schiavo leading to a repugnant and repulsive government overreach that came to be known as "Schiavo's Law". In looks as though like Iraq, which is the greatest foreign policy disaster in U.S. History, is only one part of the dystopian story that has unfolded over the past 7 1/2 years.

Because Hillary Clinton didn't count on these things, she didn't anticipate that the 2008 electorate would shift in such a way that provoked people to do more than demand a replacement for George W. Bush. Rather, they have been inspired to demand a candidate who as President could deconstruct the institutions and thwart the culture of Government that have made the failures, corruption, and malice of the Bush Administration possible. Voters at the moment seem generally wise to the fact that you can't fix the problems of establishment hackery with another brand of establishment hackery. Indeed, they finally appear wise to the fact that you can't fix your cavities by switching from Pepsi to Coke.

It is this change in sentiment that inspires Hillary to so viciously assault Barack Obama. Her blood-lust isn't inspired by an aversion to the defeat of higher ideas, but rather her own personal defeat. She probably has a good idea that she isn't going to win the nomination in 2008 and she also knows that if Barack Obama wins in November that she wont be able to run in 2012 when she will be 65 years old. And thus she understands that such a victory of her opponent would be a nail in her political coffin, as she is unlikely to pursue the White House in 2016 when she will be 69 years old. She is biting, clawing, and throwing sand in Obama's eyes every chance she can get in an effort to soften him up for John McCain in an effort to preserve the faint possibility that she might be the party's nominee in 2012.

In 1958 former candidate for President Adlai Stevenson (perhaps the Al Gore of his time) said, "people get the kind of government that they deserve". The retrospective context in the time since Stevenson made those remarks reveals them as a cruel, damning, and perhaps completely valid assessment of American Democracy and the American electorate itself.

But maybe, just maybe this time the people will get both what they deserve as well as something good. Just Maybe.

I smell summer. Let's talk booze.

2008-04-17T16:33:00.003-04:00

The McSaddle Daiquiri

I don't know many folks who don't like summer time. Show me one and I will throw a strong drink right in their goddamn face. What I really want to talk about though are the drinks that are too good to throw in anyones face.

Last summer, I gave you recipes for the Redneck Sunrise and the Mennonite Lemonade. I never posted a recipe for the McSaddle Daiquiri, which comes as kind of a surprise to me. I wondered what the heat, humidity, fatigue, workplace irritation, and persistent inebriation had done to me.

Why wouldn't I share this recipe with the world? I think that my readers deserve all the good things I can impart upon them. Especially since they check this blog regularly, often to find little more than pedantic contrived bullshit. Honestly though, I feel as though my poetry has developed.

So, here it is. More such recipes will follow because I think the drink recipe genre is one worth developing. Also, I am working on short fiction so there will be fewer poems and essays.

Feel free to compare and contrast the McSaddle Daiquiri and the Hemingway Daiquiri and make erroneous inferences about that it says about the two men.

McSaddle Daiquiri (For Two)

8 shots of Bacardi Coco Coconut Rum
2 Cans of Strawberry-Lime Jones Soda
A large lime

Mixing instructions:

Shaker: (Recommended)

Fill your shaker 40% to the top with large ice cubes. (The larger the ice, the slower it melts)
Add rum. (Fresh out of the freezer)
Add a quarter of a lime's worth of juice.
Add Jones Soda
Shake It All About
Rim a good glass with a with a wedge of lime, and garnish.
Pour.
Drink
Enjoy
Stumble
Apologize
Repeat.

Blender

Add the rum, ice cold and fresh from the freezer.
Add the lime juice, about a quarter-lime worth.
You want a good amount of ice. Add 6 or so cubes at a time and crush them with with the rum and juice on a low setting. Doing it on too high of a setting will give you an unusable ice-sludge that will melt too quickly and give you a weak drink.
Add the Jones Soda and stir it into the pitcher. DO NOT turn on the blender after adding the Soda, it will foam up and give you the mess of a lifetime!
Rim a good glass with a lime wedge and garnish.
Pour.
Drink
Enjoy
Stumble
Apologize
Repeat.

This is best consumed in proximity to hot sand and in view of a cool, cleansing coastline.

The Hemingway Daquri

1 1/2 oz Light Rum
1/4 oz Maraschino liqueur
3/4 oz Lime juice
1/4 oz Grapefruit juice

Mixing instructions:

Shake with ice and strain into a chilled cocktail glass.

Ernie H. had an economy of words and also his drinks had an economy of process and adornment. I clearly, do not. I still love him.

The Illusion Of Adulthood

2008-04-14T16:33:00.002-04:00

The Illusion Of Adulthood

Adulthood is the ultimate illusion.
It plagues us like nothing else can.
It shapes the expectations that we have
of ourselves
and the ones
that others
have of us.
If you wise-up,
you will see that what you don’t see
shows you more
than what someone chose to show you.
Wisdom and Identity
have a cumulative nature that reveals
that the number of years
are the least of a person.
There is no brightline
and therefore there is no cusp
and thusly
there is no such thing
as acting your age

Beyond The Known

2008-04-14T04:33:00.000-04:00

Beyond The Known

I’ve never gotten over to Europe or Africa
or most of the other continents,
states, cities, planets, stars, or planes of consciousness
I’d like to embark upon one day.
It seems that when I have the time that
I lack the means
and when the means are finally in sight,
I lack the time.
Once you’re bitten by the wanderlust
your heart pumps it’s venom through your veins
and the burn
is with you so long
as you yearn
and the only way to cool yourself
is to make yourself
roam beyond the known.

Liberation

2008-04-12T16:33:00.001-04:00

Liberation

Azlan is celebrating liberation
from hostile, occupying forces .
With a clearer head and a mended soul
he steps over and around the rubble
to see how he can clear it out. And soon
he will build a new nation from what’s left
and what can be made.
And he makes a rare but sincere prayer
that the world remembers that the only
True Revolution can come from within.

BirfDay Po3m

2008-04-12T15:01:00.003-04:00

Seven To Go

This girl McFreckles?
She’ll be dead at twenty-seven,
or so she has told me.
The way that I see it
she’ll either
have seven years to change her mind
or
seven more to spread her madness.
I figured all along that
she would
do both.

The Audacity Of Don't

2008-04-11T04:33:00.002-04:00

The Audacity Of Don't

Some people like to boast that they don’t
drink or do drugs
or that they’re proud virgins into their twenties
or that they don’t eat meat or enjoy soft drinks
or they don’t watch TV, or stay up too late
and
they don’t sleep in, or put out on the first date.
What kind of person
decides who they are based
on what they don’t do?
Who on their deathbed denounces adventure,
endeavor, excellence, and enlightenment?
I’ll tell you who it is!:
it’s smug bitches and bastards, devoid of courage
fashioning virtue out of necessity;
because for those folks comfort rivals passion
and
timidity prevails.

Some Better Poems

2008-04-10T16:33:00.002-04:00

Some Better Poems

A lot of the time I find that I am
writing too many poems;
about heartache and my failures,
about lost love and cruel women,
about my grief and emptiness,
existential crises and my struggle
with odds and fate.

But I can't help but write
and the poems are all I’ve got to thwart the madness
from taking hold.

So bare with me
and I'll
make some better poems soon.
But the topics and the themes
will probably be the same.

Sleep Watching

2008-04-08T16:33:00.002-04:00

Sleep Watching

You liked putting your hands in my hair
and your tits in my mouth
and your head on my chest.
If I knew then what I
know now;
I would have known that you were only
putting me in my place.
Or so you have tried to convince me.
But as you might recall
I woke up and I had
caught you watching me sleep

The King Of Hearts: Part 1

2008-04-07T16:33:00.003-04:00

The King Of Hearts

1.) The Ice Machine

The boys, Mitch, Billy and I started drinking early in the evening. It was a 70 degree day in April and we walked out to the corner liqueur store to buy a fifth of Sailor Jerry's and a twelve-pack of Pabst. Billy had to go inside and get some cash from the ATM, so Mitch and I waited outside. I decided to climb on top of the ice machine and sit on top of it.

"Ha ha, see if I ever need to escape from the cops, I can climb up here and onto the roof!" I said to Mitch.

"Yeah?", Mich said.

"Oh yeah! I mean...I could hide up here for days I think. I could get my groceries here." I said.

"I think you might get sick of paying five dollars for stale QuickieDoo pre-packaged submarine sandwiches.", Mitch said.

"I don't know, it's made with real bread substitute!" I quipped. "Besides, they have Hot Pockets too".

I saw Billy come out, and I slid off the top of the ice machine. On my way down I got a small rip on my best pair of Levis. "FUCK-O-MIGHTY" I thought. "Oh well", I figured. "I can sew them up later."

Billy gave me cash, and I went inside to buy. They didn't have any 12 packs of PBR. "Shit!" I thought. I didn't know what else to get, so I called Mitch on mien Razr. "Yeah they don't have any 12 packs of Pabst, and I don't know if we wanted a pint or a fifth of the Sailor's?"

"Uh. . ." I could hear him talking to Billy on the phone. "Uh. . .they don't have Pabst in twelves. And do we want a fifth or pint of Sailor's?"

Soon this was the least of our problems. A 6'3 townie dweeb with terrible tattoos all over his arms came into the walk-in cooler where I had been having this phone conversation. He looked like a guy who might have been related to Penn from Penn and Teller, and had the fowl odor of stale sweat, cigarettes, and Frito Lay snacks. He smelled like Kevin Smith looks.

"Hey uh, do you want to tell me why you sat on top of my ice cooler?"

"His ice machine?", I wondered to myself. Apparently, he must own the entire chain of QuickieDos. His RANCID band-tee had somehow led me to believe that he actually did not work in corporate. How terrible would it be to be both failed hipster garbage AND an establishment shill at all at once?

"Uh, was that a problem?" I asked.

"Yeah, well you crushed the top of the ice cooler!", The Dweeb said.

"Nahh it was pretty messed up before.", I explained.

"No! I looked at it 20 minutes ago as I was coming from another store", The Dweeb said.

Did this guy really take a good look at the top of all the ice machine before he went into every QuickieDoo?

"I doubt that very much actually.", I told him.

"Well, lets go look!" said El Dweebo.

I followed him outside. Mitch and Billy saw me talking to this dude as they saw him pointing at the ice machine and they couldn't restrain their laughter.

"Uh yeah, there it is", he said.

"Eh, well it was pretty much like that. I didn't do anything to it." I reiterated.

"No! I SAW you" he said.

I thought about telling him that the ice machine had put a rip in my good denim and that we should call it good. I decided against it.

"Well, what do you want?" I placated.

"Just leave." he said with a sigh of dissatisfaction and apathy.

Well, I was going to buy fifth of booze, and some beer from this guy. Did he think he was coming out ahead with having a crushed ice machine and refusing to sell me goods from his store? I got the sneaking suspicion that this kind of corporate stewardship is why we have had Enron, and the recent Credit Crisis on Wall Street. Certainly this is the kind of decision making that gave us the Sub-Prime mortgage nonsense as well. This guy might have seemed like a shitty executive, but with the way things have been going lately, he is about par for the course.

"Other Fish & The Power Of Cliche

2008-04-07T04:33:00.002-04:00

"Other Fish" & The Power Of Cliché

Frankly I’ve caught bigger fish,
and as they say, “there are more in the sea”.
As I can and you should see,
a good number of them are
a whole lot bigger than you.
It’s baffles me that I ever noticed
you at all, and why
I didn’t throw you back
sooner.

Fishes Ain't Shit But Hoes And Tricks

Perils Of Guilt

2008-04-03T16:33:00.006-04:00

Perils Of Guilt

Mitch: (Scrolling Through eMail) "Does anyone want to work at the Sexual Assault Crisis Hotline this summer?"

James: “Hell no."

Billy: “No. How much does it pay?”

Mitch: “Ten dollars an hour.”

James: “That’s not bad at all.”

Billy: “No, it’s not. And, uhhh (sarcasm) yeah, that could be a good place to meet vulnerable women!"

James: “Yeah, but its also a good place to meet women who put out for a guy, but feel guilty about it and then in a misguided and dramatic attempt to protect herself from developing a reputation as a slut, she cries rape”

Mitch: (looks on with mild contempt, but interest while spinning through iTunes)

Billy: “That’s ridiculous! . . .But kind of true. I mean…there ARE real victims."

James: “No doubt, but it’s probably in poor taste to hit on them. Plus those girls don’t really want to be like . . .touched. . .or looked at, they cry a lot. . .and eh. . ."

Billy: (Interrupting) “That’s sick! You’re sick.”

James: “Ha ha, maybe, I speak only truth, and you know it!”

Billy: "Really though, it’s a shame that women who feel guilty do shit like that, it takes away from the real problem.”

James: “You mean women that are really getting assaulted and need real help?”

Billy: “Yeah”

James: “I agree.”

Mitch: “Hell yeah. That’s seriously fucked up.”

Billy: “Guilt gets in the way of people having a good time in general. Like, people avoid things they like because they will feel guilty about it."

Mitch: (Turns away from iTunes) “Yeah, and when they do finally give in to something they want, and even if their actions aren’t actually harmful, their guilt creates a false need for consequences; which always includes but is seldom limited to ending the pursuit of things they enjoy."

James: “Not only are people failing to give into things they like and want, but these social constructs are punishing those who are are audacious enough to violate antiquated and harmful social mores."

Mitch: "Yeah!"

Billy: (nods) "Pretty much."

James: “So I dunno. What do we do about that?”

Billy: "I guess all you can do is try to hang out with people who are down with things you’re down with without isolating yourself so much that you’re just kind of around the same kind of people all the time."

Mitch: "I guess."

The Curse Of Ernest Hemingway

2008-04-02T04:33:00.002-04:00

The Curse Of Ernest Hemingway

As of late I have come to understand how
Hemingway
became the misogynist we’ve come to know.
A number of Bret Ashley's have come my way:
much more Distant than I find myself being
way more Elusive than I can stand being
and
about as Reckless as I can't help being.
I'm hardly impotent
in fact my problem is quite the reverse:
Appetites for things Baptists find perverse;
Causing infatuation inspired
gestures and anguish inspiring rifts.
Even without Ernie H's gifts
It looks as though I have got his curse.

Undoing And Returning

2008-04-01T16:33:00.000-04:00

Undoing And Returning

James has found that no amount of sleep can undo the nightmare he had
and that there’s no degree of alertness can keep it from returning
Around him the Freddy Krugers swarm
In and Through cold blood that was once warm
ready to spill Red with bladed apparitions
spelling bleeding letters of living death, true to form.

Temporary Solutions For Contemporary Pollutions

2008-03-31T04:33:00.000-04:00

Temporary Solutions For Contemporary Pollutions

I’m denied real affection, because I haven’t earned it
and
it seems what I was after wasn’t all that great after all
yet
I know that I would have been way into it anyway;
though
the phlegm stuck at the back of my tongue is no less bitter
and
I wretch and heave no less when I see the mess that I’ve done.
So
now I decide I’m open to the idea of temporary solutions
to
combat ailments induced by contemporary pollutions
but
it appears as though I have not earned any of that either.

SUCKERPUNCH!

2008-03-25T04:33:00.000-04:00

SUCKERPUNCH!

Like a suckerpunch and a spinning roundhouse kick
I can feel this whole thing
playing out deep down in the pit of my stomach.
My bones chill
as my heart
pumps stunned blood
through strained veins
that wanted
to give up
a long time ago
anyway.

The Old Man's Pen

2008-03-24T04:33:00.003-04:00

The Old Man's Pen

The old man’s pen
works on
young man’s paper.
Comfort prevails
over
change, it’s safer.
Ill will assails
true peace
and then we lose

Ourselves
Eachother

What we need
What we don’t
What we want
What we don’t
What we know
What we don’t
What we’ve taken for granted,
what we’ve won
and what
we Haven’t.
And then it’s clear
you’ve forsaken possibility itself
and then you learn that
coyness doesn’t get things done
and
passiveness has few rewards.

Holy Frick! I Did It!

2008-03-23T04:33:00.001-04:00

HAPPY EASTER!

True Fatalism

2008-03-18T16:33:00.000-04:00

True Fatalism

True fatalism
is when crimes like suicide
are punishable
by execution

True defeatism
is to refuse to pursue
for impending fear
of loss and defeat

True happiness
is when you go your own way
knowing that journeys
matter more than goals.

The Dusk Of Winter On The Ides Of March

2008-03-11T16:33:00.003-04:00

The Dusk Of Winter On The Ides Of March

The ides of March is upon us once again.
On the cusp of Spring just a year ago
I was sick, resigned to my bed,
curled into myself
in the dark
fairly sure that death was near.
Now
On the dusk of Winter, at this moment
I am inclined to see the best:
With you, the contrast
is might’ stark,
and
with the cold concluding, I end my refrain

who reads these?

Ambivalent God

2008-03-05T15:33:00.001-05:00

Ambivalent God

To feel spited by fate
is an ill informed arrogance.
Given that we
live under the roof
of an ambivalent God
who will at times
sneer in contempt,
and
at other times
couldn't care less.

TRADE OFF Promotion Begins

2008-03-03T15:33:00.001-05:00

See: McSaddle To Direct 9/11 Romantic Comedy

What You Don't Do

2008-03-02T03:33:00.001-05:00

What You Don't Do

There are times when your
course is plotted more
by what you do not do
more so than
what you can make happen.

How you don’t aggress
has a lot to do with how
you don’t embarrass yourself

Sometimes knowing the odds are stacked
can keep you from a
defeat that’s
at best
emasculating;
at worst
a live testament
to your worst
and
how your best
will always fall short.

What's Your Type Of Woman?

2008-02-29T15:33:00.001-05:00

Something To Lose

Sometimes I am asked: “what’s your type of woman?”

It’s tough to say
Because, it’s just that
I know what I know
And
I like what I like.

If I had to say
I would have to say
with a thoughtful sigh
that I like a woman who smiles at me
with sincerity
and with kindness
that I simply cannot refuse to return
with ebullient
enthusiasm;

who now inspires
Newfound Nervousness
because now
I find that I have something to lose.

Skills As Pills

2008-02-28T15:33:00.002-05:00

Pills As Skills

The skill is the pill
that lends to knowing
where it is you're going a
and where
you'll get your next thrill.

Cherries & Cream

2008-02-24T15:33:00.001-05:00

Cherries & Cream

No one told me that I could have Cherries and Cream.
I convinced myself that it'd be too sweet
anyway.
Besides,
it
wasn’t anywhere on the menu.
But they made it for me special
‘cause I asked nicely.
Now and then you get a break.
It's More then
than now
and
not often enough on this Earth venue.
But sometimes someone slips you a treat
and sometimes a good soul holds you in high esteem.
And with surprise love and random kindness
they serve you up some Cherries and Cream.

Whom The Necrophile Seeks To Defile

2008-02-21T15:33:00.005-05:00

Whom The Necrophile
Seeks To Defile

I must be a necrophile
since you're the one
I'm out to defile.
You're flesh is still pink
and you still smell like jasmine-ginger
but your lips taste blue like it's the flavor
they might call The Ironic Injure:
the kind that you spit before you savor
and you embrace fully
'till you're as dead
outside
as you are
in.

T-Rex Vs The Sphinx: Summer 2009

2008-02-20T15:33:00.001-05:00

In East Lansing, You Can Ice-Skate To Class

2008-02-19T15:33:00.003-05:00

The Ice Makes Me Stumble

All there is now is the anguish,
terror and anger
against the demons
I've been unable to vanquish.
So clear as danger
in the winter dusk,
but more cold
and more dark
as the crass wind cracks my face
and the ice makes me stumble.

A Warm Desolate Dune

2008-02-18T15:33:00.001-05:00

A Warm Desolate Dune

I thought maybe we could get a Kitchenette Hotel
Somewhere in Key West or Key Largo
We'll do all we wanted and no soul we'll tell
how we got out each our own perilous shell

When the Sun says it's done and up comes the Moon
It is time for all those hints and clues
to finally play out and pay off sometime soon.
under a blanket on a warm desolate dune.

The Sugar Dances In My Fingers

2008-02-18T03:33:00.002-05:00

The Sugar Dances In My Fingers

The sugar dances in my fingers
when I have it in me
or if it's in some tea.
But no matter.
It seems that no
such sweetness ever lasts or lingers.

How You Love Others Vs. How Others Love You

2008-02-14T15:33:00.000-05:00

How You Do
What Does That Say About You?

How it is you love others
says a lot more about who you are
than how others love you.
We can learn from our mothers
how unending love is like a scar:
forged by pain and healing
and while it stops bleeding
you can't stop that feeling.
Because how you hurt yourself
says more about who you are
than how others hurt you.

Paul McCartney, Please Return My Calls

2008-02-13T15:33:00.001-05:00

Paul McCartney, Please Return My Calls
My First Valentines Day Sans-Woman

When I was asked by Allen to contribute something to the Pine Press this week I was at first insulted the he would even for a moment consider the possibility that I would write for a Right-Wing Ron Paul puff-piece rag like this one. Inspired by Barack Obama's call for unity, I decided that I would like to take time to talk about another transformative figure in American History and about how he had the shittiest Valentine’s Day ever.

On Valentine’s Day 1884, Teddy Roosevelt's mother died of typhoid and his wife died in childbirth on the same night. On top of losing the two most important women in his life at the age of 26, he was a father for the first time. He marked his diary for that day simply with a large "X" along with the phrase, "the light has gone out of my life". You could say that he was going through a bit of a quarter-life crisis.

Teddy Roosevelt coped with his quarter-life crisis by resigning his seat in the New York State Assembly, and going out to the Dakota's to be a cowboy, rancher and bounty hunter. These experiences shaped his personal history in such a way that it put his life story among American folklore. I dealt with quarter-life crisis by going back to college and puking all over the Phoenix House during FAMPO.

Nonetheless Valentine's Day appears to be a time of reflection whether we like it or not. The gifts we give, the plans we make, and the events that unfold with the objects of our amore on Valentine's Day tends to reveal something about how we feel about that persons role in our lives.

I have always believed that how you choose to love others reveals more about yourself than how others choose to love you. But, all the traditions around Valentines Day seem to serve as a test of how well a male can translate the prismatic complexities of love into a stuffed animal or a chunk of Zales . The females job seems mostly to consist of wearing cool underwear and ordering dessert.* I wonder if anyone else feels like Valentines Day is just kind of a MEAP test for relationships where if you don't do well, you don't get the prize.

For the first time in 6 years, I won't be taking the LoveMeap, so I should mention that those of us who will most likely spend February 14 weeping, masturbating and watching Bridget Jones' Diary over a gallon of Ben & Jerry's might have some things to think about too.

Are you better outside of a relationship? Do the lack of Romantic distractions present other potentially more enriching social possibilities? Does choosing a path with another mean you can no longer carve your own? Does the love you take truly equal the love you make even when love is unrequited? Paul McCartney, please call me back.

No matter what kind of agonizing self-reflections that you might make on Valentine’s Day, you probably won’t have it as bad as Teddy Roosevelt. Then again, you might have it worse

Happy Valentines Day!

*(As I write this I realize that some couples have two males and two females, but I am going to pretend that gender roles in same sex couples basically cancel eachother out.)

Knowing Better

2008-02-13T03:33:00.001-05:00

Knowing Better

Knowing better has a way of spoiling the fun
that only ignorance can bring.
Biting into Domino's
knowing there is better pizza
Drinking Captain Morgan
When you could have had some Sailor's
Kissing a women just to fuck
when you've kissed and meant it before
Knowing better shows you what a mess you have made
but it doesn't clean it up much.

Life Between Haircuts

2008-02-12T03:33:00.000-05:00

Life Between Haircuts

I feel like I could use a haircut
but I wonder how much it could
truly change my life.
Last time I had one, nothing changed
I was still poor
I was still stuck
I was still mad
I was still lost
Don't get me wrong, I'll still go get one
But, there is no trim, gel, or scalp massage
that will set me on course elsewhere
I'll still want
I'll still yearn
I'll still yell
And I will
still wonder.

The Culture War Lives

2008-01-28T15:33:00.000-05:00

A CULTURAL IMPASSE:
My Failed Attempt To Plan A Vacation in Gulf Shores, Alabama

Chat Information: You are now chatting with 'Linda K.'

Linda K: Good afternoon. How may I help you today?

Mr. Trudeau: Hey there, I am wondering if there are any good places to have a Beach-infused Spring Break experience on the Gulf Coast Alabama...this is going to be early March when we go.

Linda K: I am sure you can find something available at that time. How many nights do you plan to stay, and how many will be with you?

Mr. Trudeau: Well, I am wondering if the temperatures will accommodate a beach vacation...and if there will be other young people there out to cut loose

Linda K: Our market is Families--young people will be here with there families--this is not like Panama City Fl.

Mr. Trudeau: So there aren’t any young folks out for booze and loose women/muscley studs?

Linda K: I beg your pardon--no lose women here—

Mr. Trudeau: NONE? I find that hard to believe.

(Prolonged Silence)

Linda K: Is there anything else I can help you with today?

Mr. Trudeau: I mean, I know Alabama is about two centuries behind the rest of civilization but there HAS to be a culture for college kids . . .

Linda K: We are not behind--maybe you should be looking for something other than what you mentioned.

Mr. Trudeau: Well I mean, I’m young so I do the things young people do. You know?

Linda K : We have a great beach resort--lots of things to do for fun and great seafood restaurants.

Mr. Trudeau: That’s great! I love Seafood

Linda K : There is plenty of things to do for the young and young at heart here on the Al. beautiful Gulf Coast.

Mr. Trudeau: I have another question.....I have a Barack Obama bumper sticker on my car...are there any particular herbs or repellents I can put around my car to keep the locals away?

Mr. Trudeau: I think if they saw my car they might think it's some kind of space-ship and be inflamed to rage upon seeing my support for Mr. Obama

Linda K : I do not understand your remarks.

Mr. Trudeau: I just don't want to go there unprepared , I know it's a different culture

Linda K : I think you may be the one with the problem with having a bumper sticker for him. This is a free country--support is your choice.

Linda K : I do know where you are from--but it is not a different culture here from any place I have traveled here in the US

Mr. Trudeau: Yeah....see I just don't want a pitchfork in my tire

Mr. Trudeau: Are there any popular Brothels on the Gulf Coast?

Linda K : I have other people to help that are interested in our area. I have your info so my supervisor can contact you.

Mr. Trudeau: That’s fine

Linda K : Do you need her to contact you?

Mr. Trudeau: sure. email is best, or she can call my cell.

Linda K : You can call her or me free--800-745-7263

Mr. Trudeau:Is it true that in Alabama I can beat up a black man and not go to jail?

Linda K : I am not responding to you any longer

Mr. Trudeau:ONE more thing. And it’s serious.

Linda K: . . . alright.

Mr. Trudeau: I don't like seeing the Ten Commandments Posted publicly, if I call ahead will they cover it up for me by the time I get there?

Chat Information: Chat session was ended by site operator.

Is This Too Much To Ask?

Martin Luther King Day

2008-01-21T03:33:00.000-05:00

Love, Leadership, and Courage

Cowardice asks the question - is it safe?

Expediency asks the question - is it politic?

Vanity asks the question - is it popular?

But conscience asks the question - is it right?

And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular; but one must take it because it is right. – MLK

Let's Put Martin Luther King Jr. on the $20.00 Bill !

To Sign The Petition CLICK HERE
To Join The Facebook Group CLICK HERE

I Can Has Pussy!?

2008-01-13T15:33:00.000-05:00

The Pick-Up Artist

I Can Has Pussy!?

Mystery: So, okay here is my super-ultimate no fail move.

Kevair: ::gulp::

Mystery: Okay, so you walk up to the girl, and you touch her two finger tips on her forefingers with YOUR two fingertips on each your forefingers.

Kevair: What?

Mystery: And then you stare her right in the eyes like you're an owl, and you don't break your intense gaze.

Kevair: In the eyes?

Mystery: And then you say to her. . . "I once arm wrestled George Harrison. . .from the Beatles.

Kevair: A lot of girls my age don't know who that is. . .

Mystery: Right, well maybe I'll take advice from you? Right? Like, I think you can like teach a How-To-Be-A Virgin course if you want, I don't think we would be after the same client pool if you know what I mean.

Kevair: What?

Mystery: ::SLAPS KEVIAR IN THE MOUTH::

Kevair: Arrrahhh! What the FUCK man?

Mystery: ::grabs Kevair by the hair:: Listen to me you fuck-weed piece of shit, you think because I wear a furry Velour-lined top-hat and eyeliner that I won't fucking kill you?!

The New Hampshire Primary: I Pay Attention So You Don't Have To

2008-01-08T03:33:00.000-05:00

The New Hampshire Primary
I Pay Attention So You Don't Have To

DEMOCRATS

Obama: by nearly 40%
Hillary: will come in around 30 or below
Edwards: will hover around 20%.

REPUBLICANS

McCain: 27%(?)
Romney: 24%(?)
Huckabee: 14%
Rudy: 12%
Paul: 10%

Democrats

Obama appears to have been able to turn his large Iowa victory and Hillary's huge loss into a major case that he owns the mantle of change and that he is in fact more electable than Hillary. Let’s call this O-Mentum.

After this, look for the Nevada Culinary Workers' Union to endorse Barry-O and give him a boost in Nevada Primary, which will be held 11 days later on the 19th. Will he win? Who knows, maybe.

Hillary will fight in Nevada, but she might as well not visit South Carolina, because the Democratic electorate is 60% African American, and they are breaking overwhelmingly for Obama, and they will do so exceptionally more so if they see that he won too white-bread states like Iowa and NH.

Hillary is going to look right ahead to the Feb 5. Super-Tuesday states with a retooled campaign with staff and surrogates. She can do well in the North East, and probably in New York .

BUT, if Obama is 3-0 in Iowa, NH, and S.C…. Hillary is going to have a hard time convincing people to give donate to her sinking campaign, and Obama is going to be able to outspend her like mad, and in big States like Missouri, California, Illinois, New York etc. .TV campaigns are important, and to have a TV campaign you need $$S

Also, the black populations in the big cities in those large and not so large states are going to have to want to support Sen. Obama. I am talking L.A., San Francisco, San Diego, San Jose, Chicago, Boston, New York City, St. Louis, Nashville, Memphis, Mobile, Tupelo, Biloxi, Newark, Trenton, New Haven. . .Hillary is going to have a hard time moving urban populations in her favor.

If Hillary is to live another day, she must stop Obama tonight or hope that he ends his own career with some profound mistake.

Republicans

Character Vs. Issues = McCain Vs. Romney

Despite how effing awesome Obama is, the Republican race is a lot more suspenseful.

Because of this, I have about half as much confidence in my GOP projections as I do my Dem projections . . .because I think Romney might do better than this because in GOP post-debate focus groups, undecided Republicans and Republican Independents are breaking for Mitt on the issues of taxes and immigration.

Everyone expects John McCain to win this one, so he kind of has too. The big question today is how many Independent voters want to break for Obama vs. McCain given that they have until they show up at the polling place to choose

If Obamamania has swept NH unaffiliated voters, Romney could live to fight another day in Michigan, and whoever wins Michigan will get to knife-fight Huckabee in S.C.

If Romney finds a way to edge out McCain (which is possible but a long shot)...Huckabee has a great shot at becoming the nominee, because he is going to do well in S.C. and the Feb. 5 redneck States, where his chief Rival will be a weakened Rudy G.

If Romney, Huckabee, Mitt, and Rudy G are dukeing it out until Feb 5. . .we might see a brokered convention, and we might not know who the Republican nominees for President will be until September 2008, when the GOP holds their convention in the Twin Cities, MN.

I pay attention, so you don’t have too.

You’re welcome.

Obama's Brand Of Politics Is What We Need

2008-01-04T03:33:00.000-05:00

Hate & Fear May Win Elections
But They Don't Produce Results

Barack Obama was born four years before black Americans won the right to vote with the Voting Rights Act. That same man in that same country now stands poised to lead it.

In Iowa, Barack Obama has passed his first test on his way to the White House. More importantly, the American people have passed their first test toward empowering themselves in the post-Bush era. What happened last night in Iowa is a testament to what can happen when people demand change. It stands in great contrast to the politics of fear and hopelessness perpetrated by the Bush administration over the past seven years.

After 9/11 George W. Bush could have appealed to the better angels of our nature by uniting the country and the world against the threats that we face around the globe. Instead, he employed the politics of division and fear to consolidate his power and assure himself re-election.

While this brand of negative politics did help Bush edge out a victory in the 2004 election, it has failed him in the governance of this nation.

George Bush's politics produced an underwhelming response to al-Qaeda and international terrorism and it has instead thrown our nation into two wars that we are losing.

It has enabled corporate greed and worsened the economic challenges of those who were already suffering.

It has given us the largest national debt and the largest deficits in our history while doing absolutely nothing to empower people who struggle to do better.

It has put American citizens under surveillance and has attempted to make enemies of the state out of George Bush and Dick Cheney's political opposition.

It has produced an embarrassing government overreach in response to personal decisions of Terri Schiavo's family and it has produced a critical failure of the government to help and protect the victims of Hurricane Katrina.

Hate and fear may win elections, but they don't produce results when it is time to get things done.

Barack Obama offers the greatest departure from the Bush Administration just as we need it. When Obama was down in the polls and looking defeated through the spring, the summer and the autumn, he rejected calls from pundits and establishment hacks to employ nasty slash and burn tactics. Rather, in the most positive way possible, he drew contrasts between himself and opponents and made an argument about what kind of country we could be. He didn't tap into anger and he didn't tap into hate. By identifying the problems we face and offering solutions, Mr. Obama tapped into hope and promise.

As someone who worked in politics for a number of years, I have seen cowardice where I wished there was courage. I have seen it from both Republicans and Democrats, even Democrats I have worked for.

I have seen rancor where I should have seen deliberation.

I have seen partisanship where I should have seen thoughtfulness.

I have seen darkness in American politics, and for too long I have seen establishment politicians add to that darkness.

Sen. Obama knows that when there is darkness that you defeat it not by turning up the heat, but rather turning on the light. I am confident that this brand of politics will not only deliver a victory but that it will also produce results when Barack Obama is sworn in as the 44th President of The United States.

OBAMA WINS

2008-01-03T15:33:00.001-05:00

Obama Wins Iowa:
Why Everyone Has A Reason To celebrate.

Posted January 3, 2008 | 09:30 PM (EST) by Arianna Huffington at the Huffington Post

Even if your candidate didn't win tonight, you have reason to celebrate. We all do.

Barack Obama's stirring victory in Iowa -- down home, folksy, farm-fed, Midwestern, and 92 percent white Iowa -- says a lot about America, and also about the current mindset of the American voter.

Because tonight voters decided that they didn't want to look back. They wanted to look into the future -- as if a country exhausted by the last seven years wanted to recapture its youth.

Bush's re-election in 2004 was a monument to the power of fear and fear-mongering. Be Very Afraid was Bush/Cheney's Plans A thru Z. The only card in the Rove-dealt deck. And it worked. America, its vision distorted by the mushroom clouds conjured by Bush and Cheney, made a collective sprint to the bomb shelters in our minds, our lizard brains responding to fear rather than hope.

And the Clintons -- their Hillary-as-incumbent-strategy sputtering -- followed the Bush blueprint in Iowa and played the fear card again and again and again.

Be afraid of Obama, they warned us. Be afraid of something new, something different. He might meet with our enemies. His middle name is Hussein. He went to a madrassa school. A vote for him would be like rolling the dice, the former president said on Charlie Rose.

And the people of Iowa heard him, and chose to roll the dice.

Obama's win might not have legs. Hope could give way to fear once again. But, for tonight at least, it holds a mirror up to the face of America, and we can look at ourselves with pride. This is the kind of country America was meant to be, even if you are for Clinton or Edwards -- or even Huckabee or Giuliani.

It's the kind of country we've always imagined ourselves being -- even if in the last seven years we fell horribly short: a young country, an optimistic country, a forward-looking country, a country not afraid to take risks or to dream big.

Bill Clinton has privately told friends that if Hillary didn't win, it would be because of the two weeks that followed her shaky performance in the Philadelphia debate.

But it wasn't those two weeks. Indeed, if we were to pinpoint one decisive moment, it would be Bill Clinton on Charlie Rose, arrogant and entitled, dismissive and fear-mongering. And then Bill Clinton giving us a refresher course in '90s-style truth-twisting and obfuscation -- making stuff about always having been against the war, and about Hillary having always been for every good decision during his presidency and against every bad one, from Ireland to Sarajevo to Rwanda.

So voters in Iowa remembered the past and decided that they didn't want to go back. They wanted to move ahead. Even if that meant rolling the dice.

Again, this moment may not last. But, for tonight, I am going to savor it -- and cross my fingers that it may stand as the day that fear as a winning political tactic died. Killed by an "unlikely candidate" -- as Obama called himself again and again -- who seized the moment, and reminded America of its youth and the optimism it longs to recapture.

Dear Iowa:

2008-01-02T15:33:00.000-05:00

Dear Iowa:

Please don't fuck us over again. Thanks!

-D. James McSaddle

The Dinner Reunion: Philippe et Armelle

2008-01-01T15:33:00.000-05:00

THE DINNER REUNION

Philippe Mulroney: This place has a great menu; I came here with a bunch of friends the other day.

Armelle Cherise: When did you get back into town?

Philippe Mulroney: Thursday.

Armelle Cherise: How was home?

Philippe Mulroney: Awkward, unpleasant, but you know, no surprises.

Armelle Cherise: You're so negative about your upbringing . . .

Philippe Mulroney: It’s a sad town with a lot of bad memories, why do you think my visits are so infrequent?

Armelle Cherise: It was less than a week in the place you grew up; you can't handle doing that once in a while for your mother?

Philippe Mulroney: That is pretty much the only reason to visit there. It's the only reason anyone would visit there except for tourist season.

Armelle Cherise: It didn't seem so bad when we went those few times.

Philippe Mulroney: Well, we went during tourist season, and we spent all our time at the beach and in the woods. They have great beaches, the traffic isn't too intense. It's a great place to spend a summer. But there is no reason for anyone to live there unless they are a foundry worker, or a tool and dye maker.

Armelle Cherise: Or a teacher?

Philippe Mulroney: If you like a quiet, uncultured life then I suppose it would be a fine place for a teacher too.

Armelle Cherise: Oh come on....

Philippe Mulroney: I'm serious. That town is indifferent to it's own survival, it's ignorant of what it has become. Billow Lake has fallen into oblivion. And like a manged cat before the gas, soon it will be spared the torture of its own self-awareness.

Armelle Cherise: If I wanted something uncomfortably heavy I would have ordered the Steak Dianne.

Philippe Mulroney: Well I knew you wouldn’t order that.

Armelle Cherise: Because I'm off red meat?

Philippe Mulroney: Sure there is that, but also, you would have had to ordered a red wine, which you never drink. Also, you don't like anything to be heavy, even when it is.

Philippe Mulroney: (Raises Brow) How about you? How was home for you? Make any lifelong memories?

Armelle Cherise: I remember sitting on my Grandfathers bed, crying. It had a urine stain on it.

Philippe Mulroney: A good as place as any for you to turn tricks I suppose. I hope you turn tricks better than you pick candidates to support. :: cackles lightly:: What am I talking about? Of course you do.

Armelle Cherise: My grandfather died.

Philippe Mulroney: (Stunned) I'm sorry. How are you handling it?

Armelle Cherise: I'm handling it.

Philippe Mulroney: I guess sometimes the most you can hope for is that they find peace in death that they couldn’t find when they were living.

Armelle Cherise: I find my peace with chemicals. I'm more worried about my grandmother.

Philippe Mulroney: (Nods, listens)

Armelle Cherise: Life, death, not living, not dying. It's all complicated.

Philippe Mulroney: That sounds pretty uncomplicated, truth be told.

Armelle Cherise: Maybe.

Philippe Mulroney: My grandfather died a week before that Senate race two years ago. There were too many emotions running to have either a proper funeral or a proper campaign after that.

Armelle Cherise: (Her eyes well up with tears as she nods slowly).

Waitress: Are you ready to order?

Philippe Mulroney: I think so. Armelle?

Armelle Cherise: Yes...another glass of the Chablis. And. . . I’ll have the Chicken Avocado.

Waitress: Chef or Caesar salad?

Armelle Cherise: Caesar please.

Philippe Mulroney: Grilled swordfish please.

Waitress: Chef or Caesar salad?

Philippe Mulroney: Caesar.

Waitress: Another glass of the Chablis?

Philippe Mulroney: Could you 86 her glass and bring us a bottle

Armelle Cherise: (Raises brow)

Waitress: Ill be right back with your carafe of Chablis.

Philippe Mulroney: Thank you

Armelle Cherise: Are you trying to get me drunk?

Philippe Mulroney: (Laughs) No, why would I want you to be drunk? You’re a terrible drunk

Armelle Cherise: Because having your company inebriated makes you feel like less of a drunk?

Philippe Mulroney: Is that your theory?

Armelle Cherise: That’s part of it.

Philippe Mulroney: What's the other part?

Armelle Cherise: The other part . . .you'll think ill of me for saying.

Philippe Mulroney: I already think ill of you.

Armelle Cherise: Oh really? Do you? Is that why you're trying to drink me into bed?

Philippe Mulroney: Drink you into bed? I don't appreciate that accusation seeing as last time you weren't drunk at all.

Armelle Cherise: No? Well I must have been on something.

Philippe Mulroney: That wouldn’t surprise me. But you weren’t.

Waitress: (Pours wine from carafe into first Armelle's glass, and then Philippe’s)

Philippe Mulroney: Thank you.

Philippe Mulroney: How are things on the ground in Iowa?

Armelle Cherise: We're going to win.

Philippe Mulroney: God, I hope not. Last I saw it looked like a three way clusterfuck with low turn out helping Edwards and a high turnout helping Obama. . .and clear warm weather on caucus day.

Armelle Cherise: Obama's not ready.

Philippe Mulroney: He will be. Besides, I think we're ready. We need serious transformation, we need an end to the failed ways of the past. Establishment politics can't produce the transformative change we need in the post-Bush era.

Armelle Cherise: Hey look, Senator Clinton has spent a lifetime as a change-agent.

Philippe Mulroney: Senator CLINTON? Change Agent? Are reading me the same fucking talking points your surrogates read on Hardball?

Armelle Cherise: And when she wins you can come work with me in the White House communications office.

Philippe Mulroney: I'd love to be an Obama speechwriter. I'm far too eloquent and idealistic to write for Hillary.

Armelle Cherise: Aww, I thought maybe we could get one of those condos near the stadium?

Philippe Mulroney: I'm not going to root for Hillary to be with you.

Armelle Cherise: You know what? Fuck you, I had to pay off student loans, and car payments while you were here in Michigan playing idealist, playing idealist...playing The West Wing at the State Legislature. So why don't you get real and work for Senator Clinton after she wins the nomination? I can get you in, easy.

Philippe Mulroney: ::nods in disgust:: I mean. . .you're part of the establishment we BOTH used to fight against. You can't be trusted.

Armelle Cherise: Was I ever trusted?

Philippe: (—pauses—) Yes.

Philippe: But that was my fault.

Armelle: Oh yeah? . . .here we go.

Philippe: No no, here we don't go. We aren't going anywhere. We didn't before and we wont now.

Armelle: (::face loses composure toward frowning and tears::)

Philippe: And we never will.

Loving Vs. Fighting

2007-12-30T15:33:00.000-05:00

Loving Vs. Fighting

Once in Eighth grade after I punched someone in the nose,
the middle school secretary gave me some advice.

"David, be a Lover, not a Fighter" she had said.
That's a false dichotomy if I've ever heard one.

I'm taller, wiser, and a decade or so removed.
and what I learned since then is that loving and fighting
go hand in hand.

Warpaint Against An Impure Conscience

2007-12-27T15:33:00.000-05:00

Manny Faces

2007-12-26T15:33:00.000-05:00