Employee Discount

After Barbra finished her G.E.D, she was able to make enough money as a waitress at the Hominy Diner to get a place of her own in Purcell with her new baby. She went there because she wanted to be "close" (about an hour) to "the city" (Oklahoma City). She landed a job at the new Wal•Mart Super-Center where she started in the stock room and moved up to a cashier position and made an honest if not affluent living.

She lived in a small apartment above the house of a chain-smoking widow before she ended up getting impregnated, married and re-impregnated by Russ, the Assistant Manager, all within 2 years. She moved into Russ's large modular home on an open lot with a man-made pond. It wasn't a bad life, but before their three year anniversary Russ, who was being investigated for running meth to Langston, blew his brains out with a shotgun that he bought with his employee discount.

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Slim In The Leg

Edwardo: What's with the hole on the back of your jeans?

James: My other good pair are crusted because of my unfortunate jaunts through heavily salted slush puddles. I really should wash them before the salt starts to eat through them,

Edwardo: When did you decide that the jeans were unwearable?

James: I guess last Sunday. I knew that I couldn't wear the jeans again without washing them. The filth would have been a spectacle.

Edwardo: So why not wash them? You have free laundry at your place, right?

James: Well, you don't want to wash your denim too often. The oils and stuff in your skin makes the denim sort of custom fit you.

Edwardo: Ewww....gross.

James: No, I insist that this is the best way to wear jeans. Wear them at least five days a week and wash them at a maximum of once a month.

Edwardo: Why?!

James: Because, you start with somewhat snug jeans and they transform into a pair of custom fit jeans. The denim takes on your shape and it fits you better than it could ever fit anyone else. And, in fact, no one else should every wear your jeans. You should be able to wear them until the day you die.

Edwardo: Assuming that a persons waistline stays the same through the ages?

James: Maybe it's an incentive to age more gracefully. . .having old denim to serve as a reference through the decades?

Edwardo: Don't jeans change style over time? Like, wont those just look like cheap old shit in 5 to 15 years?

James: Some things change, but the kind of fit that works for you never does.

Edwardo: Given the presumption that you wont change––

James: At least there's some incentive.

www.TheTruthOrSomethingLikeIt.blogspot.com

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Vestigial Organs

I'll tell you something
about careening
through the scenery
with fiends and creeps
out seeking to be mean
and
struggling to be street
living lean
and
thinking on your feet
until you're
thinking with a blade
deep in your spleen;
And suddenly you're less confused
because
you never miss
what
you never used.

www.TheTruthOrSomethingLikeIt.blogspot.com

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Rib Poem #2

At Saint Francis’ Youth Group
I learned that woman was birthed
from man's rib.
I guess in a sense then,
Eve
was both
Adam's
daughter and his lover;
Which isn't too strange as I consider the things
Cain and Abel had to do
to get a good piece of ass.

TheTruthOrSomethingLikeIt.blogspot.com

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Rib Poem #1

Baby back ribs
don't fare well against
roasted spare ribs.
If you cook them slow
the meat will fall
right off the bone.

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OBAMA WINS
The Only Thing Better Than Victory Will Be Success

It's not hard to think highly of John McCain, especially when he is as gracious and high-minded in defeat as he was last night.

I know that Barack Obama wants to usher in an era of unity and healing, but it's important that we never forget that Barack Obama is the president-elect DESPITE the fact that the McCain campaign promoted fear, xenophobia and racism because he believed that peoples ignorance was the margin of victory.

John McCain deserved to lose, and today is a good day because of that.

In the coming months, watch for John McCain distance himself from his conduct during the financial crisis, Sarah Palin, and the assertions that Barack Obama was too black, too shady, and too much of a secret terrorist to be President.

While McCain deserved to lose, Barack Obama deserved to win. That makes today a great day, and because he won, I have faith that many more are ahead.

Barack Obama changed how campaigns are run and he has set a new standard for 21st Century Presidential candidates. Obama brought progressive politics into the mainstream by making his case to Middle America. His policies are a huge departure from the status quo, and he has inspired us and prepared us for the Change We Need.

Not everyone voted for Obama, but I have a feeling that deep in the hearts of many that they are rooting for him to do a good job.

I have supported Barack Obama's campaign for president ever since hinted that he might be interested running back in October 2006 on Meet The Press. The only thing better than seeing him win will be watching him succeed.

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FINAL PREDICTION: Obama by 7%, 384 Electoral Votes.

OBAMA Will Win Most Decisive Election In A Generation.

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McCain Running Dishonorable Campaign

Worse, It's The Political Equivalent Of A Michael Bay Movie.

Lately I have heard that McCain supporters take issue when he is called "dishonorable". They insist that no man with his war record could ever act dishonorably.

Just because John McCain, failed in his mission, crashed his plane (for the fifth time) and as a result got the shit kicked out of him by a band of malnourished Communist Asians, to whom he revealed classified information in exchange for special treatment doesn't mean he isn't dishonorable.

It certainly doesn't mean that he is beyond serial infidelity, unconscionable corruption, political cowardice, and promoting baseless lies designed to provoke violent racism and xenophobia.

Lately at his rallies, McCain has been prompting some outrageous reactions from his supporters.

For instance,when McCain utters the name of his opponent, Senator Barack Obama (D- Illinois), the crowd has been shouting utterances like "terrorist!", or they say "kill him!" or "off with his head".



They do this without the any admonishment or disapproval from John McCain, who just peels back his lips to reveal his damp, gray and crooked grin, through which his rancid breath escapes in subdued cackle.

Every election year, it seems like someone says that it's about the most dirty election season ever, and usually that notion is just misguided hyperbole. But we live in times where what was ONCE misguided hyperbole is now the most clear and truthful way to describe the world in which we live.

John McCain's campaign is the political equivalent of a film by Michael Bay or Jerry Bruckheimer. It's over budgeted and under developed, it's loud, it's irrational, it's flashy, it's over hyped, it plays to the lowest common denominator and its hard for anyone with cognitive fortitude to watch it for even a moment.

Sarah Palin, the suspension of his campaign, Joe the Plumber: These are overproduced set pieces in a campaign that should never have been. It appears that in this election, people know garbage when they see it, and they are holding their nose at the sight of it.

Still, I worry.

Armageddon and Pearl Harbor each opened at #1.

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Doctors: McCain Has Advanced Melanoma,
6 to 18 Months To Live
Mayo Clinic M.D. Originally Reported On Findings, But Has Since Gone Silent

During his first campaign for the White House in 2000, Senator John McCain unconditionally released all of his medical records to the press and gave reporters virtually unlimited access to his entire medical history.

However, last May Sen. McCain agreed to allow only highly restricted access to the very same kind of records. Only selected news organizations and journalists were allowed access to Sen. McCain's medical history during this election cycle. Members of the news media were permitted just three hours to go over 1000s of pages of files in an sealed and isolated room. Reporters were not allowed to use cell phones or use the internet while in the sealed area. Anyone who left the room was not allowed back in. This new level of secrecy baffled many members of the press who remarked that the move was inconsistent with the openness the McCain campaign showed in 2000.

The reason why Sen. McCain has gone from absolute openness with his medical records to a new level of secrecy is because the Senator's health has declined considerably since his original presidential campaign. This decline is not unusual for a man who was 64 eight years ago.

John McCain is 72 years old, and if elected he would be the oldest first-term President in history. Both voters and medical experts have expressed concern that the state of Mr. McCain's health may preclude him from executing the most important tasks of his presidency if he is elected.

At his most recent physical, McCain's personal physician at the Mayo Clinic, Dr. John D. Eckstein said that because of a "serious aliment" that Sen. McCain has just 6 to 18 months to live.

While Dr. Eckstein was not specific on the nature of the illness himself, other experts in the field say that McCain is likely to be suffering from advanced melanoma that could require chemotherapy in the near future. No one is quite sure if McCain's major illness is treatable or if his illness is terminal.

"We aren't going to talk about any potential illness or potential treatment until after the election." said an Senior McCain aide who asked not to be named.

"Right now, it's all speculative" said Dr. Eckstein when he was asked if Senator McCain would be able to maintain a full schedule as President while he underwent chemotherapy. Side effects of the chemotherapy include rapid weight loss, a suppressed immune system,memory loss, malnutrition, nausea and hair loss.

If McCain underwent these procedures it is possible that he would be unable to discharge his duties as President on a full time basis. If elected, McCain might be put in a position where he would have to frequently and regularly invoke the third section of 25th Amendment which would make the Vice President the Acting President.

The constitutional provision was used by Ronald Reagan in 1987 when he underwent surgery as George H.W. Bush became the Acting President. President George W. Bush invoked it when he underwent two separate colonoscopies in 2002 and 2007. However, since the inception of the 25th Amendment, no one has invoked it to cover anything as serious or as long term as chemotherapy.

In a potential McCain administration, current Alaska Governor Sarah Palin would be Vice President and ultimately she would bare the responsibilities of the "Acting President" if section three of the 25th amendment was enacted.

"Even with chemotherapy, the Senator is gravely ill and he is unlikely to serve a full term", said Dr. Eckstein.

The Mayo Clinic physician initially expressed that he was upset that his findings were removed from the medical records to which reporters had access. "Senator McCain would be the oldest first term President ever, and his medical conditions could have a profound impact on his ability to conduct while in office".

Dr. Eckstein was contacted for a follow-up interview, but he did not respond.

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Obama & McCain Respond To Bailout Failure

Candidates Show Difference In How They Will Govern

Obama:

Obama said he's confident a deal will be reached on a bailout plan, despite it failing in the House.

Explaining why he was delayed at the start of his event, he said in this town about 20 minutes outside Denver, "I was on the phone with Secretary Paulson as well as the Speaker of the House and the Congressional leaders, because they are still trying to work through this rescue package. And obviously this is a very difficult thing to do. It's difficult because we shouldn't have gotten here in the first place.

"We meet here at a time of great uncertainty for America. The era of greed and irresponsibility on Wall Street and in Washington has led us to a financial crisis as serious as any we have faced since the Great Depression. They said they wanted to let the market run free but instead they let it run wild, and in the process they trampled our American values of fairness, balance, and responsibility to one another. Now, because of speculators who gamed the system and regulators who looked the other way, your jobs, your life savings, and the stability of our entire economy is at risk."

McCain:

When McCain boarded his campaign plane with Rob Portman in preparation for his flight to Des Moines, just as the bailout legislation was defeated on the House floor, he ignored questions shouted by reporters from under the wing about the fate of the bill.

It's unclear if he could hear the questions, but when he heard reporters shouting his name he turned and waved.

Question:

How long before Obama gets 60% in the polls?

Source: NBC News.

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McCain Wants To Be A Part-Time President

In Difficult Times, Americans Want An FDR, Not A Hoover

Imagine that if after the bombing of Pearl Harbor that President Franklin Roosevelt didn't address the Congress and the American people by inspiring confidence and strength, but rather he decided that he could only attend to one crisis at a time.

FDR was already taking on The Great Depression when the United States was attacked. After he described December 7, 1941 as "a day that will live in infamy", he went on to say,

"With confidence in our armed forces - with the unbounding determination of our people - we will gain the inevitable triumph."

Even though the United States was struggling through double-digit unemployment and a shaken economy during The Great Depression, FDR knew that he had to mobilize the nation and the world against dire threats to their liberty, sovereignty and safety.

John McCain, ever the maverick, decided that approach wasn't for him.

Upon what has been described as one of the worst economic crisis' since The Great Depression, John McCain has decided to focus on one thing while ignoring another important thing.

This week, John McCain said that he would suspend his campaign, and he had requested to delay the Presidential Debate scheduled for Friday at 9PM E.S.T.

Apparently Sen. McCain who has been the Congress' most absent Senator is in a rush to fix the economic crisis that he, Bush and the Republicans in Congress helped to create.

McCain insists on ignoring one important task to work on a crisis that he is admittedly not qualified to handle. He does this despite the fact that whoever wins this election will have to be a full-time Commander-In-Chief, a full-time steward of the economy, and a full time President.

If FDR didn't multitask and show a willingness to take on one of the worst domestic crisis' in US history along with the greatest crisis' of war simultaneously, we would be a very different country today.

Would we have been better off if FDR decided not to fight World War II so that he could focus on the economy? Probably not.

McCain's decision is further evidence of his poor temperament and erratic decision making process, which has recently disturbed even the most conservative political observers.

The President of the United States doesn't get an excused absence. When a candidate for President asks for one, he shouldn't be taken seriously.

Barack Obama on the other hand, has called McCain out. He remarked that it is especially important for the American people to hear from the people who will eventually be responsible for this mess.

In about 40 days, the American people will have their say on who is best equipped to lead through this and every crisis we will endure for the next four years. Because of this, it is now especially important for Sen. McCain and Sen. Obama to have an audience with the voting electorate about where they intend to lead this country.

Barack Obama understands that, if elected, he will have to be a full-time President.

McCain doesn't.

Do We Need A Hoover or Do We Need A Roosevelt?

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John McCain Est Un Sac De Douche
Insults Are An Important Part Of The French Language, No?

The other day in French class, we were learning how to describe things. (Il est/Elle est = He is/She is).

One of the exercises included finding five ways to describe a celebrity. The choices included Will Smith, Michael Phelps, Charles De Gaule, George Bush, Barack Obama, Sarah Palin, and John McCain among others.

A fellow that sat behind me said that he was going to describe John McCain and said "Il est indépendant, Il est intelligent". Which, of course, is total bullshit in any language.

When he was done, I said "John McCain? Il est douchebag!". Most of the class laughed including the youngish instructor. I admit that it was a cheap shot and that a majority of the class was more impressed by my used of the word "douchebag" than my criticism of John McCain.

After class, the guy who lavished praise upon McCain in the language of romance walked by my desk as I was packing up to leave.

" [COUGH]douchebag[COUGH]faggot[COUGH]" he muttered.

Yep, he did the thing where he coughed an insult. What's worse is that as he did it he walked away. I was mostly offended because he thought he could insult me and that I would pretend that I didn't hear it just to avoid escalation. As Bugs Bunny said, "He don't know me too well, do he?"

"Excuse me?", I said to him. He didn't acknowledge me, and his back was to me was he walked to the teacher.

"Excuse me! Did you have something to say to me?" I said to him as I picked up my pace without his acknowledgement.

Finally, I stepped in front of him and leaned over into his face.

"Excuse me? Did you have something to say to me?"

He looked at me, but he didn't say anything. Still in front of him, I reiterated.

" Because I am right here."

"Uh, your outrageous comments, uh. . ."

"Outrageous? I think what you said was outrageous! You put your opinion out there, and so did I. I even did it in French! But you, you went ahead and insulted me, and you thought I would ignore it.

He was silent and clearly jarred.

"Maybe next time if you have something to say to me, you'll say it to my face? How's that sound?"

He didn't say anything.

I jetted off in a fuming rage, because this Pugsley Adams looking bastard draped in his American Eagle reminded me of every half-thinking spoiled Detroit-burb moron who thinks that John McCain is the cats pajamas.. He looks like the kind of guy whose interests, outside of Republican politics, include taking dates to Fazoli's and then raping them in the Pontiac Vibe that his dad, an Oakland Country lawyer, bought for him.

Obviously, politics shouldn't escalate to this kind of personal confrontation. But, I am emotionally invested in this election, and after seeing how mean spirited and ruthless the Republican's have been in winning elections and fighting the culture war, I decided that I should be no less cruel or dangerous.

It's a shame that this Preidential election has become so contentious that it almost came to fisticuffs in a French class.

But, that fucker will probably never cough & walk ever again.

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McCain Voted For Banking Deregulation Bill
The bills author is his chief economic adviser.

In response to the fall of Lehman brothers and the sixth worst day ever on Wall Street, John McCain said, "I promise that we wont put America in this position again. . .this is a failure".

John McCain should know, he voted for the Gramm-Leach-Bliley Act which led to the banking deregulation that allowed the mortgage industry to adopt predatory loan practices that offered mortgages to those with a poor or thin credit history who had unreliable or low incomes.

The legislation also permitted spikes in the interest rates and monthly payments of these mortgages, which led to millions of Americans losing their homes.

Basically, John McCain voted to allow the Mortgage Industry to become Check-N-Go.

So much for "the ownership society" Bush campaigned on in 2004.

What is worse is that the author of the bill, former Texas Senator Phil Gramm, is John McCain's chief economic advisor. You might remember Phil Gramm as the guy who said that people who complained about economic hardship are "whiners".

Not only did John McCain support this catastrophic deregulation upon its inception, he has made its author his chief economic adviser. John McCain clearly lacks the judgment and desire to give America a new direction on the economy and give Americans a better quality of life.

I guess he wasn't kidding when he said he didn't know much about the economy.

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Veep Pick Proves McCain Puts Country Second
And Politics First

Republicans: "Sarah Palin is so Pro-Life that she keeps the duds!"

What if Geraldine Ferarro and Dan Quayle had a child? The answer is Sarah Palin, John McCain's newly minted runningmate. Palin already has a unique place in history as being the first candidate to be both woefully unqualified and selected chiefly because of her gender.

McCain's choice for Vice President matters more in this election than in those previous because he would be the oldest first-term President ever at the age of 72. Aside from his numerous bouts with cancer, men his age are known to drop dead spontaneously. Because of this, John McCain might not be able serve throughout all of George Bush’s third term. People who vote for the self-proclaimed “Original Maverick” should know that they are voting for a Sarah Palin administration every bit as much as they are voting for a McCain administration.

Palin’s light resume, her extremist views, and her history of corruption and lies are enough to make a lot of voters wonder if John McCain was in possession of all his cognitive faculty when he chose Palin to be his running mate. After all, he had met her only once and officials from his Vice Presidential search committee had arrived in Alaska to do a background check on Palin just one day before the announcement was made and the McCain/Palin yard signs printed.

McCain and Palin are now calling themselves the “The Original Mavericks” in an effort to make people forget that McCain-Bush policies have been driving the country for the past eight years. Sarah Palin is already famous for saying that she opposed building the ‘bridge to nowhere”, which is a half-billion dollar Alaskan bridge project that connected to an island with a population of less than 50 people, which has become emblematic of wasteful pork-barrel spending. By comparison, the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco was built for 400 million in today’s dollars.
But, in fact during her gubernatorial election, Palin supported the project whole-heartedly. She only rejected it after it began to provoke outrage and mockery across the nation. Worse? She kept the quarter-billion dollars of congressional pork-barrel earmarks for the bridge and spent it on other projects.

Even though there is now a broad consensus that her remarks fall far short of the truth, she hasn’t corrected herself on the campaign trail. In fact, Palin keeps repeating the same line verbatim from town to town, without any reluctance or evidence of shame. She is either oblivious to the facts or she is an outright liar.

Either way, we have had enough ignorance and dishonesty throughout the past eight years under the Bush Administration; and if you want a change in the direction of the country, John McCain and Sarah Palin are the wrong choice.

Palin, is currently under investigation for misusing her role as governor to have her sister’s ex-husband fired from the Alaska State Police, which is an amazing feat given that she has only been Governor for about a year and a half.

During her 19 months in office, Palin spent 312 days in her own home and charged the tax payers for meals and apparent business expenses, just like any other “Hockey Mom”. If you want a departure from the culture of corruption that has been emboldened by the Bush Administration, John McCain and Sarah Palin are the wrong choice.

Sarah Palin’s radical right-wing worldview is unlikely to jive with Hillary Clinton voters or anyone who might have considered voting for Barack Obama.

Palin is a global warming skeptic, which means that she does not believe that global warming exists or is man-made, despite an overwhelming evidence-based consensus to the contrary. This is a view so extreme that she is out of the touch with the top of the ticket. John McCain has in the past admitted that global warming is real phenomenon. There is no word on McCain’s position since receiving millions of campaign contributions from oil company lobbyists.

Palin is also against abortion rights in all instances, even if a woman is a victim of incest or rape. This is a view way outside the political and practical mainstream. What is even more repulsive is that Palin has allowed the McCain campaign to make a political prop out of her infant son who was born with downs syndrome. There wasn’t a single night during the Republican Convention where someone didn’t mention little Trig Palin. It’s almost as though the Republicans are saying:

“Hey America! Look! Sarah Palin keeps having children, and she is so Pro-Life that she keeps the duds!”

Because she refuses to participate in news interviews, we don’t know if Palin agrees with the assertion of the Bush administration that all contraception can be considered legally the same as an abortion. For that matter, we don’t know if she has any thoughts on anything other than moose burgers and protecting the right to hunt wolves with a helicopter.

Sarah Palin also breaks with John McCain, conventional wisdom, as well as science and reason in her opposition to life-saving medical research on stem cells. If you feel like the clash of ideologies is stymieing progress in Washington D.C. and you want more pragmatic decision makers in the White House, John McCain and Sarah Palin are the wrong choice.

The Palin pick exposes a lot about John McCain’s leadership style and decision-making process. You have to wonder if John McCain would be as equally hasty when choosing an Attorney General or a Secretary of State. The Bush years are a barely-living testament to how putting ideological purity before operational competence can sink a Presidential administration. These are the people who after all gave us Donald Rumsfeld, Harriet Meyers, and Michael “Brownie, you’re doin’ a heck of a job” Brown. And now they have given us Sarah Palin.

As Sarah Palin claims to have told Washington when it came to the “Bridge To No-Where”, tell them “thanks, but no thanks”.

The 45th President Of The United States?

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Evan Bayh

The Indiana Senator and Former Governor Offers Political and Practical Payoff

Evan Bayh isn't my first choice for Vice President but I haven't offered a more coherent way of choosing a running mate for Barack Obama. The biggest challenge is that it's been hard to find someone who can both balance his strengths and who doesn't highlight his perceived-weaknesses.

For instance, it's been hard to find someone who can reaffirm Obama's brand of "Change" and who also has a great depth of old-school experience, (the Tim Kaine/Kathleen Sebelius challenge) Likewise, it's been hard to find someone who balances Obama on experience-perceptions but who doesn't obscure the "Change" brand (the Joe Biden challenge).

Ultimately, Barack Obama is at the top of the ticket, and people are going to be voting for him or against McCain. Evan Bayh does not directly reaffirm Obama's “Change” message. He's been in politics for 20 years as a popular two term Governor of Indiana and winning two terms to the U.S. Senate. But, Evan Bayh is a moderate-centrist Democrat, exactly the kind I don't vote for at the top of a ticket.

But Bayh has the background to help make an Obama Administration highly effective and successful. Between his experience cutting taxes while balancing the budget along with his decade-long experience and relationships in the Senate, he can do a lot to making Obama's inspiration-cast vision into a strong legislative and administrative strategy that Obama will need if he is to truly bring substantive Change to Washington. Don't think for a minute that that isn't still on the table.

Bayh also has served on the Senate Foreign Affairs Committee, and also the select Committee on Intelligence, so his brain trust can give valuable insight as Obama forms foreign policy decisions with guys like Joe Biden and Bill Richardson. Yes, Bayh voted for the war and has at times had a hawkish stance, but Obama has always said that he wants a Vice President that will challenge him and express disagreement. At the end of the day, the decisions on war and peace as well as prosperity and wellness will indeed be Obama's to make, and can he have more confidence in those decisions knowing that they have been tested and challenged by people who are competent and achieved.

What really sets Bayh apart from other contenders is that he is good at not bringing too much attention to himself, because rarely does a showy running mate bring positive attention to the top of the ticket. He has done a decent job of not making it look like he wants it too badly.

Obama is in a position to win Indiana. A Democrat hasn't won Indiana since 1964, but the map has been changing. Some congressional and state legislative races in 2006 showed Indiana to be veering Democratic, and most polls show Obama with a slight lead there. This is especially remarkable because Indiana went for Bush by a margin of 60% to Kerry's 39%. Also, North West Indiana is in the Chicago Media Market, and they have seen Obama in local media for many years and they know him very well there, and they like him, as evidenced by his performance in the primary.

Evan Bayh is a popular former Governor who has twice been elected to the Senate from that state with huge margins. If Obama wins Indiana, McCain is toast unless he picks up Pennslyvania, Minnesota or Wisconsin. At the very least McCain will have to spend money to keep it Red, which means he spends less time and money on Ohio, Nevada, New Mexico, Michigan, Virginia and Florida.

* Evan Bayh balances the ticket with his experence in:
* National Security and Intelligence
* The Economy & the Budget
* Formulating legislative strategy
* Being too mellow to cause trouble
* Being a Hillary supporter who can help heal remaining rifts.
* Winning statewide elections in Indiana.

Between his experience and mellow demeanor, Evan Bayh can balance Obama on the ballot and in the White House much the same way Al Gore balanced Bill Clinton.

Then again, it COULD be Delaware Senator Joe Biden.

(theTruthOrSomethingLikeIt.blogspot.com)

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The Infidelities Of Johns Edwards & McCain
Why The Edwards Story Is Worse For John McCain

When something bad happens to a well-known leader in the Democratic Party, you might expect that the Democratic Party might suffer.

Those of us that have been paying close attention to this election have noticed that Republicans have been quick to exploit any news story that can be distorted to discredit Barack Obama. But with the Edwards story, John McCain and the Republicans are treading lightly this time.

Why? Because John McCain's vapid, shallow and crotchety campaign has been based on two things:

First, the McCain campaign is out to assassinate the character, policies and campaign narrative of Barack Obama with an alarmingly vitriolic and immature tone that more and more voters are finding repulsive.

The second part of the McCain campaign strategy is to continue his hyperbolic glamorization about his service and character. John McCain wants you to believe that getting shot down and beaten up is a qualification to lead, and that taking on populist policy positions as part of an image-making strategy after the Keating Five scandal somehow validates the assertion that he is an independent minded maverick.

There is a growing consensus throughout the voting community that John McCain’s self-manufactured image as maverick-foreign affairs guru-former fly-boy is little more than a thin marketing strategy that worked better eight years ago.

So, of course John McCain doesn’t want the public to be reminded of his character flaws, which includes his violent and vulgar temperament as well as propensity toward skank-pronging.

John McCain’s first wife, Carol waited years for her husband while he was in a P.O.W. camp. When he came home to find that the former model was severely injured in a car accident.

Despite his apparently catastrophic war injuries on the behalf of the Viet Cong, he was able to muster the strength and virility to commit hundreds of infidelities with dozens of women.

When he finally found an FWB who had extensive connections in Republican politics and who was a millionaire heiress to the Anheuser-Busch fortune, he left Carol outright.

McCain even had the audacity to get a marriage license to wed Cindy McCain, (the infamous pill-popping Stepford Wife) before his divorce with Carol was final.

So, while John Edwards was egregiously unfaithful, I’m sure McCain would like it better if the public wasn’t talking about the marital infidelities of politicians.

Especially when his character-myth is the lynchpin of his campaign narrative.

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Ides Of July

The Ides Of July
will soon be past.
Breathe a warm sigh
when the haze lifts.
But remember,
August wont last
and warm air shifts.

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Living Comfortably
Maybe You Can Be A Pimp And A Prostitute Too

I know that it's been a while since I have made a post. But the reason for that is because my summer has been relaxing and I haven't been prompted to talk about anything. I've also become weary about what I post because, though this East Lansing/MSU community is the largest I have been a part of, it is also the most hyperconnected.

I think that it is possible that through all of my years that different parts of my life might have had these cosmically Seinfeldian interconnections all along. I have only come to recognize them in recent years because of the socially and technologically constructed parameters provided by Facebook™. Sometimes it chills me to the bone to see this macroscopic view of my social identity, which is itself shaped by this relatively new technology. Corporations and workplaces have come to look at peoples Facebook™ profiles when making hiring decisions, so apparently these things are being taken seriously. Maybe that's why the "Death To Israel" group has only 200 or so members despite an apparently well organized global jihad against the Jewish state. Then again, if you're serious about destroying Zionism, you might not want to organize it in the same place that is used to promote the César Chávez Day Beerpong Tournament (I'll be there).

It's just another thing we have to be afraid of, like tomatoes. The tomato recall disrupted access to tomatoes in my area for about a week, and it had a serious impact on me. I went to Subway on Monday and there were no tomatoes available as a topping, which made the trays of meats and veggies look woefully incomplete. On Friday I went to Taco Bell and I ordered three tacos "Fresco Style", which is basically –instead of cheese they put on a fresh chopped (in a food processor) tomato-cilantro salsa, which improves the product greatly. They said that they couldn't do the Fresco style because of the Tomato Famine. I wondered if I would have to emigrate away from my home the way my Irish countryman did in the mid-eighteenth century. I ended up getting substandard tacos within an vendor that is itself substandard to anyone with even minimal culinary decency. I understand why people give me shit for occasionally going to Taco Bell, but sometimes what's wrong is right.

The Spinach recall from last summer didn't effect me as much because I don't think that I have had fresh Spinach since the last time I've had a salad that cost me more than $8.00, which must have been in 2005, when I had money.

Honestly, though this simpler life is more rewarding. I am about the most comfortable I could be given the modestness of my means, whereas before I was the most miserable I could be given my affluence at the time. Sometimes working within limitations has some payoff.

Part of the reason I'm living comfortably is because my roommate, Billy had set us up with an apartment in an upscale student ghetto. It's spacious, cool in the summer, and its windows provide for ample natural light. Except for a laundry room, it has no facilities to speak of, but you can't beat $150 a month with your own bedroom. For my day job I mostly work for college prep related scams like Kaplan®. It doesn't pay bad, but it doesn't pay great either. Besides, exploiting the ignorant and weak has been losing it's charm.

My income is supplemented by a cheap source of alcohol, as I am providing free legal services to some illegal Mexican immigrants. They were being abused and exploited at a Chinese Restaurant in East Lansing. They were paid $6.00 and hour as dishwashers, cooks and bus boys. Their home was a basement shelter under a floor-board door in the kitchen where they were locked overnight without a toilet or running water. The 60 year old Singaporean owner with liver spots, rotted teeth and greasy thin graying hair would frequently grope the 12 and 13 year old girls, who were the oldest females of 8 children, none of whom were allowed to go to school.

I was waiting to pay for my Empress Chicken when one of the bus boys dropped me a note. In Spanish, the note had told me of his family's predicament. I think he expected me to contact the authorities, but that if I did they would be deported. So, I had opted to bust them out myself which turned out to be easier than it sounds. All I had to do was sneak by at 3:oo AM while the old man was out on the other side of town with some tween Eastern European hooker. I pried out the rotted wooden back-door deadbolt with a crow-bar that I always keep in the trunk of my car. Over the floorboard door under which the family was being kept, there was a large movable kitchen-prep table with all the wheels braked. Apparently the old man wanted to take extra precautions to see to it that the family didn't escape. I un-braked all the little black wheels and rolled the table off the floorboard. I snapped off the Master Lock with some bolt cutters that I borrowed from Billy. They were initially reluctant to come with me until the grandmother exclaimed, "¡Mire sobre Gabriel con el pelo de oro hermoso!" After they were free I had set them up with a Catholic charity that was sympathetic to their plight.

They charity set them up with a safe house in the rural outskirts of town where some of them worked the fields and some worked the local farmers market for minimum wage. They were also provided a shelter in the upper floor of a Victorian home. They are making payments to the host family toward a 1987 Chevey Astro with a leaky radiator that they got for $500. Manuel, the father and Carlos, the oldest son spend their evenings working on the van so they have it to get to church and to get groceries on their day off.

The family has been exceptionally thankful for my efforts to set them up with a better life. Also, because of a language confusion, they think I am some how in charge around these parts, like some kind of rural Mexican warlord. The grandmother calls me "ángel-mago" which translated means "angel-wizard". Because of these things, they supply me with one or two half gallons of good hard liquor every week. Usually it is Bacardi Superior or Svedka Vodka. Sometimes it's a decent Scotch or a bottle of 1800 Tequila. When times are tougher, they can only give me one but they always apologize and explain their situation. I always graciously accept their apology and tell them that they can make up for it when times turn around.

Maybe I don't deserve the credit for their well being, but I'll take it anyway. I figure it makes up for all the times I took the blame for things I had no part of. I learned from the best: the establishment hacks and special interest hay-seeds I used to work for in Lansing and D.C. I'm not sure if they'd hire me again if they saw this in my Facebook™ profile, but I've been making a good life without them.

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Skewered

I had embarrassed myself
pretty badly.
The stress of secrets and existential crises
made it easy to guzzle
all those creamy White Russians;
which by the way
is comfort food
for drunks.
Sadly,
it had been happening a lot more around that time
so I was becoming more skilled in the lost art of the apology
and recovering some of my repute.

On this particular occasion I used food.
I went out and bought everything:
Some lean beef that was on sale,
red onions, tomatoes,
both green and red peppers.
I made amends among friends
while I made marinade
and while I cut steak into chunks
and the peppers and onions
into pieces are big enough
so that they wouldn’t slip
through the
grill grates.

Rather than angry,
they were mostly worried about me:
True to the nature of too good of friends.
It made me feel even worse
that I was consequence free.

I have always
felt that the heat
and the fire
make us less raw and more full of flavor and tastes
like they make the onions and
peppers sweeter and give the
beef a good char.
And being skewered through
like browning, juicing kabobs
helps us keep it together
as we endure hot orange coals.

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Too Big For Your Britches

Bruno's neck resembles pancake batter as it spills out of his shirt color while his necktie hangs loose and flaccid. It looked as though it fit him at one time, but he had gotten too fat. He came in at 10:15 AM, fifteen minutes before session and tapped me for all I had learned in the five meetings that I had been in since I had seen him yesterday at 3:30 PM shortly before he left back toward home with the female district aide.

I asked him if he had looked over the position paper I had given him. He said that he glanced at it and I knew he was lying. He asked me if the bill's sponsor had donated to the campaign, and I said that they had. The female district aide had intervened, saying that the bill's opposition would likely give him more for his next campaign, and he went with her as he always does when she has anything to say, which is seldom but still too often.

I had fifteen minutes to explain a days worth of work. I'll have to put the rest of into a position paper and hope without expecting that it will get read. That job had fit me at one time, but I've gotten too big for my britches too.

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Tell Me Why This Can't Happen This Year

Make Your Own At: http://www.270towin.com/

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What's Good That's Oval?

What’s good that’s Oval?
Oval is not the same as Ovular
so you can’t say eggs or caviar,
which are obviously ovums, not ovals.
Circles, Squares
Triangles
and
Rectangles
pretty much get it done.

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A Confluence Of The Beloved
McSaddle's Buffalo Chicken Bleu Cheese Pizza

I'm a sucker for good buffalo wings with bleu cheese; it's one of my weaknesses. There is something about the heat you get from a good wing-sauce with the rich savory creaminess you get with Bleu Cheese that makes all my toes curl with delight. These are flavors that have earned their way off the Bar Menu, and into my heart.

No, I don't think I'm over-selling it. Fuck you.

What You'll Need

• Sweet Baby Ray's Buffalo Wing Sauce
• Chicken Breast Tenders, sliced thin
• Red Onion
• Red Bell Pepper
• Green Bell Pepper
• Shredded Monterey Jack Cheese (1 cup)
• Smoked Gouda cheese (1/2 Cup)
• Gooey Bleu Cheese Chunks (1/3 Cup)

The Sauce:

1.) On the stovetop mix 1 1/2 cups of Sweet Baby Ray's Buffalo Wing Sauce with 1/3 a cup of flower and 1 cup of Heavy Whipping Cream (half & half or whole milk could work). Whisk while in the pan with the stove on high until all the ingredients blend. Put on low heat

The Chicken

2.) Make a batter out of flower, sea salt, ground pepper, and parsley, cream and one egg. Remember to mix your dry ingredients together in a separate bowl.

3.) Put thawed chicken through a bath of whipped egg and cream and then coat in the dry ingredients. Put each piece in a hot pan with oil.

4.) Once the chicken is cooked all the way through add it to your pan of Buffalo Sauce and stir regularly.

The Crust

5.) Make this how you want, I often use a pre-made crust from Pillsbury. You might consider putting oil on your pan and pre-baking the crust, especially if you have an electric oven.

The Toppings

6.) You should strain your pot of sauce over the crust so you don't dump out your chicken. As with all the toppings it should be heavier on the outside than in the middle.

The base cheese is Monterey Jack. I would feel free to use a whole cup or more. This should go on first.

Add your chicken generously throughout the pizza and put on top of it the thin slices of Gouda.

Finely chop all the vegetables. The smaller and more thin you cut them, the more they will cook, and I'll tell you when you get those red onions to caramelize and you get the red peppers to sweeten you will thank me.

Wherever you don't have a slice of chicken, lay down a chunk of Bleu Cheese.

The Face Of Love

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What You Can’t Buy vs. What You Can’t Charm

That fellow of yours,
what’s he got going on?
What’s he offering?

You have said yourself
that it’s not a lot.
A pothead without a job:
just how does he pull that one off?
He must be smarter
than I thought
and
how he looks.

I might be a drunk
but at least
I mix a good drink
and I make enough
to buy that
which I can’t steal.
But that’s not enough
to steal that
which I cannot charm.

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Coming Home To Me

You came home from work
and you pulled your hairpins out
and shook your long hair about
smelling of lilacs and biscotti
and it brought me to my knees.
You wear it well, Barista Marie.
But I still wish
you were
coming home to me.

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In The Life, A Day.

In the morning, I struggle to gather myself.
With my eyes closed to the spring sun,
I move my back off the mattress
and my bare feet onto the floor.

In the afternoon, I regret skipping breakfast.
Whilst at work, I scrounge for freebees.
Fruit and roast beef?! Not bad at all!
And better than fresh, it was free.

In the evening, I neglect my homework and chores
and instead I drink rum cocktails
or beer while I cackle with friends.
I think that’s what lifes’ meant to be.

In the late night, I stumble a mile back home.
I undress and I brush my teeth.
I move my bare feet off the floor
and my back onto the mattress.

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Whatever Happened To Wartime Prosperity?

Those who are out to discredit Franklin Roosevelt and progressive government always remark that it wasn’t the New Deal that pulled America out of the Great Depression, but rather World War II. The people who espouse this platitude do so because it gives them an opportunity to criticize liberalism AND endorse war.

In the story All My Sons by Arthur Miller, Chris, a World War II veteran remarks about the guilt that he has about post-war prosperity. He somehow feels that his newfound wealth, his new car, his new appliances, and even his new woman came out of the tragedy of World War II. He said that there was blood on all of it. He felt that all there was to enjoy out of the war was somehow loot born out of death and destruction.

But where is the wartime prosperity today? We have blood on our hands but nothing in our pockets. You would think that Bush’s vision of perpetual global war would mean perpetual American prosperity, but this is not the case. Those who have been lucky enough to keep their jobs see their wages are in decline, especially against an alarmingly rapid rate of inflation. Four dollar a gallon gas hurts not only those who commute regularly, but it also hurts anyone who buys food or anything else at the store that is shipped by truck, rail, or air. It costs more to ship produce, dairy and meat; so the cost is of the shipping is passed along to the consumer at the checkout lane; it’s a phenomenon called cost-push Inflation.

At onetime there was a widely held belief that under Republican governance you would have competent stewardship over foreign affairs, even if you had to put up with economic mismanagement, legislative proselytizing, and garish jingoism. There is no longer any reason to subscribe to the illusion that there is a positive trade-off under GOP rule; because today the middle class and the truly destitute endure a gradual genocide of negligence as America loses two foreign wars. Still, there will be people who insist, as Barack Obama says, “that John McCain serve-out George Bush’s third term”.

The reason I’m thinking about this is because this weekend I am visiting my hometown of Muskegon, MI. Muskegon is along the coast of Lake Michigan, and it has great beaches and woodlands. Trough it runs two major highways, a river, and railroad. It even has an airport. It has much of the same things as many of America’s great cities, but somehow this town has not only failed to leap ahead but it has fallen behind.

Like so much of the Midwest it is still an aging Rustbelt town. Its local economy is dominated by industrial parks that feed the tragically faltering auto-industry. The only other work available is seasonal employment in the tourism industry, which is basically low paying jobs at campgrounds, amusement parks, and resort restaurants. And the tourism industry of course takes a major hit as it becomes more expensive to travel. There are no opportunities for an educated person here, despite it’s clear geographic advantage.

Whenever I travel any distance, I try to take my meals at a place that is unique, at a place I can’t get anywhere else. It irks me that anyone would go to McDonald’s when traveling to L.A. given the availability of In-And-Out and endless other opportunities. On this particular visit, I decided to visit Mr. Quick’s because it’s not something I can get in East Lansing. In fact, I started writing this while sitting in line at the drive-through.

Allright, I got my cheeseburgers. Let me explain Mr. Quick’s to you. It is an exclusively Muskegon franchise. It’s a burger joint, and I can’t really say that any that stuff is better than McDonald’s, it’s certainly less processed-tasting. They have four locations, but they used to have more. It has somehow managed to not go under, possibly because it is a popular location for the elderly because of its senior discounts. There are often old folks in there before 11am ordering Biscuits and Gravy and full breakfasts including fried eggs, the quality of which I can’t remark upon because I haven’t tried it. They do have a quality Pork BBQ sandwich that’s on special every Wednesday; I used to pick one up now and then on my way to my third-shift as a security guard at Michigan Adventure.

But what I really go to Mr. Quick’s for is the infamous Bargain Bundle. No one who values their own life would order the Bargain Bundle more than once every year or two. The Bargain Bundle is five cheeseburgers and a quarter-pound of fries that in the mid-nineties cost less than five dollars. I went though the line today and I paid about 7.50 for the same deal. I suppose that isn’t a bad deal in era of $4.00 a gallon gas.

Mr. Quick’s though has a reputation for being skuzzy. While a student at Fruitport Middle School, I was exposed to a popular rumor that Mr. Quick’s used road kill to make its burgers. I was always in disbelief about this rumor chiefly because I figured that the burgers would be bigger. My disbelief was the product of my own youthful innocence and a less cynical time. If I were a pre-teen during the Gee-Dubya Bush Administration, I would have easily believed that there were assholes out there that would not only serve you road kill, but that they would also undersell road kill. I don’t know if I am less skeptical or if I am more cynical today, but as a seventh grader, I would never have believed that anyone would both poison you and rob you at the same time. These days, I don’t write it off.

I ate the burgers hours ago, and I report that I am slowed down and nauseous but I am still alive.

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