I Can Has Pussy!?

The Pick-Up Artist

I Can Has Pussy!?

Mystery: So, okay here is my super-ultimate no fail move.

Kevair: ::gulp::

Mystery: Okay, so you walk up to the girl, and you touch her two finger tips on her forefingers with YOUR two fingertips on each your forefingers.

Kevair: What?

Mystery: And then you stare her right in the eyes like you're an owl, and you don't break your intense gaze.

Kevair: In the eyes?

Mystery: And then you say to her. . . "I once arm wrestled George Harrison. . .from the Beatles.

Kevair: A lot of girls my age don't know who that is. . .

Mystery: Right, well maybe I'll take advice from you? Right? Like, I think you can like teach a How-To-Be-A Virgin course if you want, I don't think we would be after the same client pool if you know what I mean.

Kevair: What?

Mystery: ::SLAPS KEVIAR IN THE MOUTH::

Kevair: Arrrahhh! What the FUCK man?

Mystery: ::grabs Kevair by the hair:: Listen to me you fuck-weed piece of shit, you think because I wear a furry Velour-lined top-hat and eyeliner that I won't fucking kill you?!